so i'd have to say right after i graduated from 8th grade i got all fucked up off a case of olde english 800 and a bottle of jose quervo
got my drunk ass arrested still wearin my graduation clothes it was my 1st time in juve to so yeah it fuckin sucked cuz when i woke up i had no idea where i was
so whats the stupidest shit the rest of you did ?
Me well uh theres so much to choose from
so i'd have to say right after i graduated from 8th grade i got all fucked up off a case of olde english 800 and a bottle of jose quervo
got my drunk ass arrested still wearin my graduation clothes it was my 1st time in juve to so yeah it fuckin sucked cuz when i woke up i had no idea where i was
Those were done at the same night, all of em, after 5 or six cans of Heineken and half a Bottle of Jagermeister, mixed and drunk in shots
1.Played Blitzkrieg bop wrong
2.Confessed love to some girl i haven't since seen
3.Played Cannabis by Ska-P wrong
4.Slept on mah mates house on my shoes clothes and stuff in his couch, then woke up when he was at the bathroom and went to sleep in his bed.
Those were done at the same night, all of em, after 5 or six cans of Heineken and half a Bottle of Jagermeister, mixed and drunk in shots
1.Played Blitzkrieg bop wrong
2.Confessed love to some girl i haven't since seen
3.Played Cannabis by Ska-P wrong
4.Slept on mah mates house on my shoes clothes and stuff in his couch, then woke up when he was at the bathroom and went to sleep in his bed.
I dunno...I guess the time I did it with a 14-year-old. She looked much older than that although she did say that was her age straight up, hence the mild mix of feelings of guilt and sheer "OH YEAH I'M DA PERVIEST OF DEM ALL"
I tend to still have decent enough reason when I'm rat arsed, I just do daft things which aren't likely to get me arrested. Like one night, after watching an entire series of a TV show (which I could not recall at all the next morning) I phoned a friend at 3am to inform him I was having chicken noodles, which was after stubbing cigarettes out into my duvet to form a smiley face pattern...
^
I dunno...I guess the time I did it with a 14-year-old. She looked much older than that although she did say that was her age straight up, hence the mild mix of feelings of guilt and sheer "OH YEAH I'M DA PERVIEST OF DEM ALL"
I tend to still have decent enough reason when I'm rat arsed, I just do daft things which aren't likely to get me arrested. Like one night, after watching an entire series of a TV show (which I could not recall at all the next morning) I phoned a friend at 3am to inform him I was having chicken noodles, which was after stubbing cigarettes out into my duvet to form a smiley face pattern...
Episode 1 of my Penis: got so drunk I took my pants off and shat in my mates backyard
Episode 2 of my Penis: went to the toilet to take a shit, friend goes in to check on me after being there for ages, he finds im completely naked. then i come out into the living room, collapse and throw up all over the place
Episode 3 of my Penis: NYE, its about 7 in the morning and my friend is up on the comp (lol, cos he went to sleep at 3 like a woman). I was sleeping naked in my parents room (they were out for the week) and I get up to go to the toilet, still completely trashed (I'd only gone to sleep like 30 mins before). The thing is, my parents bedroom has a toilet, which makes it weirder. Anyway, I started walking out the door and my girlfriend drags me back in, tells me not to. But I
m an incoherent mess and dont listen to her. She convinces me to put on a dressing gown, but I don' t bother to keep it closed while I walk through the house and take a piss off my decking into a nature strip.
Episode 4 of Jack's Penis: last night, I was in my friend's spa. Apparently, I went to get in my board shorts and threw my jeans into his garden, but couldn't find my board shorts or the jeans so walked around without pants for half an hour.
One time me and a good mate of mine called Tom were completely smashed so we invited three people: another friend Lyndon, a girl named Ash and she insisted she bring along her 13 year old friend Lindsey. Ash's friend Billie knew a house that was for sale and so it was empty, and me and Tom convinced everyone that we should go there and break in and get stoned, so we did. Then I went to the milkbar with Ash and Lindsey and Ash started saying she had visions of me going into the fish n chips shop while it was getting held up and getting shot, and then her and Lindsey being abducted and never seen again.
Naturally I tell her to shut up but she keeps going on with it so shes shouting at me and im shouting at her and then her stupid friend Lindsey calls the police, her parents and the ambulance.
She calls the police on me and I get arrested for assault (she told the police I hit Ash, which was't true). She calls the police on Tom and Lyndon back at the house. She calls the ambulance for Ash, and her parents to pick her up. WTF!!!
One time we were going to the bottleshop and I was already half gone and didn't remember that my mate had turned 18 the other day (this is back when I was underage) and I went ahead to find somebody to buy it for us. I found some maori junkie to buy it for me and we went around looking for an open bottle shop but couldnt find one so we head back to the station, and I'm having these crazy thoughts that he wants to roll me/steal my money so I smack him as hard as I can, he falls over, then gets back up and goes to stab me in the stomach but I get my hand in the way.
We both run away, and as I'm trying to get back to my mates house, I walk along the train lines, about 10 metres off the ground on a path thing thats about 30 centimetres wide, holding onto a barbed wire fence rofl. I walked up it for about 200 metres, then got to the other side and thought 'no wait, I need to be on the other side' so went 200 metres back. It would have made no difference whatsoever which side I'd walked from in terms of how long it takes to get to my friends house lol
So I got back with this massive hole in my hand (and a smaller one in my leg from jumping fences), and my sensible (Read: annoying) friend Adrian tells me to go to the hospital and get stitches. BUt I'm thinking, fuck that, we have 1.2 L of Jim Beam and half a bottle of 50% vodka. So I tell Adrian 'not while there's booze to be drunk' and then go outside and drink with my mate Andy til morning. We got through all the booze too
Episode 1 of my Penis: got so drunk I took my pants off and shat in my mates backyard
Episode 2 of my Penis: went to the toilet to take a shit, friend goes in to check on me after being there for ages, he finds im completely naked. then i come out into the living room, collapse and throw up all over the place
Episode 3 of my Penis: NYE, its about 7 in the morning and my friend is up on the comp (lol, cos he went to sleep at 3 like a woman). I was sleeping naked in my parents room (they were out for the week) and I get up to go to the toilet, still completely trashed (I'd only gone to sleep like 30 mins before). The thing is, my parents bedroom has a toilet, which makes it weirder. Anyway, I started walking out the door and my girlfriend drags me back in, tells me not to. But I
m an incoherent mess and dont listen to her. She convinces me to put on a dressing gown, but I don' t bother to keep it closed while I walk through the house and take a piss off my decking into a nature strip.
Episode 4 of Jack's Penis: last night, I was in my friend's spa. Apparently, I went to get in my board shorts and threw my jeans into his garden, but couldn't find my board shorts or the jeans so walked around without pants for half an hour.
One time me and a good mate of mine called Tom were completely smashed so we invited three people: another friend Lyndon, a girl named Ash and she insisted she bring along her 13 year old friend Lindsey. Ash's friend Billie knew a house that was for sale and so it was empty, and me and Tom convinced everyone that we should go there and break in and get stoned, so we did. Then I went to the milkbar with Ash and Lindsey and Ash started saying she had visions of me going into the fish n chips shop while it was getting held up and getting shot, and then her and Lindsey being abducted and never seen again.
Naturally I tell her to shut up but she keeps going on with it so shes shouting at me and im shouting at her and then her stupid friend Lindsey calls the police, her parents and the ambulance.
She calls the police on me and I get arrested for assault (she told the police I hit Ash, which was't true). She calls the police on Tom and Lyndon back at the house. She calls the ambulance for Ash, and her parents to pick her up. WTF!!! :wtf:
One time we were going to the bottleshop and I was already half gone and didn't remember that my mate had turned 18 the other day (this is back when I was underage) and I went ahead to find somebody to buy it for us. I found some maori junkie to buy it for me and we went around looking for an open bottle shop but couldnt find one so we head back to the station, and I'm having these crazy thoughts that he wants to roll me/steal my money so I smack him as hard as I can, he falls over, then gets back up and goes to stab me in the stomach but I get my hand in the way.
We both run away, and as I'm trying to get back to my mates house, I walk along the train lines, about 10 metres off the ground on a path thing thats about 30 centimetres wide, holding onto a barbed wire fence rofl. I walked up it for about 200 metres, then got to the other side and thought 'no wait, I need to be on the other side' so went 200 metres back. It would have made no difference whatsoever which side I'd walked from in terms of how long it takes to get to my friends house lol
So I got back with this massive hole in my hand (and a smaller one in my leg from jumping fences), and my sensible (Read: annoying) friend Adrian tells me to go to the hospital and get stitches. BUt I'm thinking, fuck that, we have 1.2 L of Jim Beam and half a bottle of 50% vodka. So I tell Adrian 'not while there's booze to be drunk' and then go outside and drink with my mate Andy til morning. We got through all the booze too :cool:
#1
I drank an entire box of wine; and then threw it up on my roomate's bed while he was away for the weekend.
He's a fratty douche-bag though, so all's fair.
#2
And then another time recently I was drunk, wanted to go to bed, asked people to leave so I could put on pajamas, but they didn't...
...So I got butt naked, threw my boxes on a chick's face because she was sitting in my chair where I usually put my clothes, and then put my pajamas on in front of everyone in my tiny 12x8 dorm room.
Thank god I don't have a tiny one, or that could have been awkward.
My hairy ass wasn't so lucky though.
#3 This Christmas I was back in Wales and went out for a night on the town with my mates from primary school. We started out at one of their houses, where I drank four 40's of San Jose and two Heinekens. We then made our way to Witherspoon's, where I drank several pints of John Smith's, and they convinced me to do a shot of Ray and Nephew... [which I can proudly say I held down even after all that beer ('twas a struggle)]. We then made our way to the club, where I had several more John Smith's while making and utter fool of myself on the dance floor.
The dumb thing comes now... I went outside of the club and tried to call a rid to pick me up. Failed horribly at dialing, couldn't remember where the taxi pickup was, so I decided to walk back to my Nan's... 3 miles through a shady area of Newport at 3 in the morning in -6 degree weather wearing dress shoes... I fell over 4 times, took all the skin off my thigh, elbow, and right hand and had sufficient bruising of the black and blue variety. Lost the back cover to my phone, woke everyone up in the house on my arrival, and then bled profusely all over my bed sheets...
Smashing night.
New ones since the first time I posted:
#1
I drank an entire box of wine; and then threw it up on my roomate's bed while he was away for the weekend.
He's a fratty douche-bag though, so all's fair.
#2
And then another time recently I was drunk, wanted to go to bed, asked people to leave so I could put on pajamas, but they didn't...
...So I got butt naked, threw my boxes on a chick's face because she was sitting in my chair where I usually put my clothes, and then put my pajamas on in front of everyone in my tiny 12x8 dorm room.
Thank god I don't have a tiny one, or that could have been awkward.
My hairy ass wasn't so lucky though.
#3 This Christmas I was back in Wales and went out for a night on the town with my mates from primary school. We started out at one of their houses, where I drank four 40's of San Jose and two Heinekens. We then made our way to Witherspoon's, where I drank several pints of John Smith's, and they convinced me to do a shot of Ray and Nephew... [which I can proudly say I held down even after all that beer ('twas a struggle)]. We then made our way to the club, where I had several more John Smith's while making and utter fool of myself on the dance floor.
The dumb thing comes now... I went outside of the club and tried to call a rid to pick me up. Failed horribly at dialing, couldn't remember where the taxi pickup was, so I decided to walk back to my Nan's... 3 miles through a shady area of Newport at 3 in the morning in -6 degree weather wearing dress shoes... I fell over 4 times, took all the skin off my thigh, elbow, and right hand and had sufficient bruising of the black and blue variety. Lost the back cover to my phone, woke everyone up in the house on my arrival, and then bled profusely all over my bed sheets...
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She looked much older than that although she did say that was her age straight up, hence the mild mix of feelings of guilt and sheer "OH YEAH I'M DA PERVIEST OF DEM ALL"
