Webster's Dictionary defines brocore as "music created by and for the enjoyment of bros, tools, douche bags, etc." But that just begins to describe the plague known as brocore. Brocore is a movement that is coming out of frat houses and radio stations all across this great country, and is infecting the members of the next generation.
For the most part, the media has largely ignored this epidemic; however, President Elect Barack Obama has addressed this issue saying this statement," Brocore? Fuck that wack-ass shit." He has also stated that he will form an agency to confront this issue head-on.
This is where you come in. This group is the beginning of said agency. This is where we will discuss and analyze the brocore movement.
How to spot a brocore
For what research tells us, there are three type of brocore.
1) The Partyer: The partyers are the most common group of brocores. You've probably had many experiences with partyers. The commonly wear polo shirts from American Eagle or Hollister, jeans or plaid shorts, and sandals. Recently they have adopted the "scene" look of skinny jeans. Collars are usually worn in the up right position.
Partyers live for the weekend, which is when their frat brothers bring out the kegs. Partyers live on a steady diet of beer and Ramen noodles, and have one goal in life: to "fuck skanks." Fucking skanks is the act of preforming the reproductive act with the only goal being pleasure. Skanks are also known as bitches, sluts, and hoes. They have been known to frequent the trendy bars and clubs, Dane Cook performances, and sporting events.
Partyers listen to bands like Sublime, Buckcherry, Hinder, Reel Big Fish, 311, Maroon 5, Jack Johnson, and many others.
2) The Angsty Bro- Angsty Bros (or A.B.'s) are another common type of brocore. They enjoy hating their parents, but continue to suck their parent's financial teat. In class they write lousy poetry in the margins of their notes. They often wear band t-shirts that they bought at the arenas they attend for concerts, but they still wear polo shirts like their Partyer cousins.
Bands A.B.'s listen to- Rage Against the Machine, Three Days Grace, Rise Against, Public Enemy, Underoath, Seether, Stone Sour, and more.
3)Wanksters- Wankster is a term popularized by 50 Cent, who ironically inspired millions of upper middle class kids to adopt the hip hop style. The were born and raised in the suburbs, but when threatened they'll tell their attacker that they are "from the streets." They idolize the materialism that their hip hop idols have shown them, and often drive around in Mercedes that their parent's bought for them. They commonly wear shirts that are two sizes too big, sweat shirts with fake fur lining the hood, large diamond stud earrings, large pants, and Air Force Ones.
Bands Wanksters enjoy- Lil Wayne. That's it.
The fauxhawk- The fauxhawk is common to all types of brocores. A fauxhawk is just like a mohawk, except without the sides shaven. It's a good way for a brocore to look edgy and alternative, while still looking mainstream.
A common part of the brocore lifestyle is trying to gain the attention of the female sex. Most of the conversations they have are about "that bitch I fucked" or "that bitch I'm gunna fuck."
They do talk about drinking and smoking marijuana, often in loud voices while being under aged. Phrases that are common to these conversations are "Dude I was so wasted" or "Dude you were so wasted."
Brocores tend to gather in packs. They can be found at the mall or Jimmy's step mom's house. They enjoy playing XBox and watching seasons of Family Guy at a time
What to do if you see a brocore
The first thing to do among spotting a brocore is take it out immediately. If you are at a concert, through at bottle at it, and be sure to aim for the head; you must draw blood. If you are driving and you spot a pack of brocores, run them over. This may sound extreme, but there is no cure to the virus that causes brocore.
If you are a brocore and you are reading this, turn yourself in and allow your body to be used for research. In rare cases, brocores have been treated successfully and turned into functional members of society.
Society for the Prevention and Destruction of Brocore/A Guide to Brocore Classification group forum