Welcome to Donkeyism. No, don't be alarmed, you are here because you are one of the chosen few. You have reached the page of The Brothers of The Society Of Donkeyism. Relax, pull up a chair. Feel free to discuss your views here. As long as the views you express are the same as ours. Otherwise, piss off. This religion is for those who truly believe that modified, or "pimped out" donkeys are greater than shopping trolleys. Offer up all the lame excuses you want for using shopping trolleys, in the end, you're just lying to yourself. This religion is not for the faint hearted.
This is for people who despise shopping trolleys, and agree with our bretheren that modified donkeys are the way to go. What modifications you ask? A muzzle, to stop him from biting. A poop bag, to stop him from shitting everywhere. A joker smile, because thats just hardcore. And the batman signal light shoved up his arse, so every person in desperate need of assitance can find their asses.
Does anyone else hate shopping carts? YEAH. Of course you do. They are a menace to society, unchallenged by even our highest ranking officers. What has this world come to, allowing them to run amuck? We need to fight back immediately.
Here are some facts and information concerning shopping carts:
1.They abduct our children. The carts can come in many sizes, with larger ones able to carry a child. Think that's bad? Check this out: "There are also specialized carts designed for two children, and electric mobility scooters with baskets designed for disabled customers." So they are abducting two children at a time, right under our noses? Blasphemy! And what's this? They sell crack cocaine to disabled customers? And abduct them when they least expect it? Words cannot describe my feelings of discontent.
2. Shopping carts harm our children: "24,000 children are injured each year in shopping carts according to the American Academy of Pediatrics." So when they cannot abduct our children, they simply break their legs. Pitiful.
3. Shopping carts are despicably dirty: "According to a study conducted by the University of Arizona's Environmental Research lab, grocery carts are havens for urine, mucus, and human saliva. Shopping carts have been ranked third on the list for worst public items." Disgusting.
Apparently we are the only one who has realized that shopping carts have brainwashed humankind into thinking they are useful, harmless creatures. We need to stop thinking like this, for it is absolutely incorrect. We need to spread the truth! LET IT BE KNOWN THAT SHOPPING CARTS ARE FILTHY MESHES OF WELDED SCRAP METAL. THEY ARE INFIDELS. KILL ALL SHOPPING CARTS.
facts taken from Wikipedia
WE ARE THE WAY!!
Reasons that a modified donkey is the greatest object for speedy and effective grocery moving:
1. With a muzzle and poop bag, donkeys move by themselves, and can be loaded with all your needed items.
2. Donkeys can go uphill.
3. Donkeys can take you anywhere you want to go.
4. There is not a person alive who has made money from a shopping trolley show.
5. Donkeys offer good company.
6. Donkeys make loveable pets.
7. You can pretend the donkey is Eddie Murphy and have hilarious conversations with him.
8. In the case of landslides, donkeys can rescue people on rough terrain.
9. You can give your donkey a mohawk and proudly march him down the town square.
10. There hasn't been a man in history who has got the lovely virgins hand in marriage by offering her father a shopping trolley.
11. A donkey was good enough for Jeus. You think you're better than Jesus? Huh? Lets see you get off guts from water that you have just turned into wine.