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Funniest Comedians and Jokes

Fire Fingerz

what are the most lol comedians and jokes <(-_-)> what are the most lol comedians and jokes <(-_-)>
Posted: Nov 10, 2007 12:22 AM - Quote - Report!

Fire Fingerz

Read this whole joke LOlZ (warning is a bit dirty</FONT>;)The first declares: "I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter''s room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn't even know that she smoked!" "It gets worse than that," says the second mother. "I was tidying my daughter''s room last week and I found a bottle of vodka under her bed. I didn't even know that she drank!" "Oh, it gets even worse than that," says the third mother. "I was tidying my daughter''s room last week and you''ll never guess what I found in her bedside cabinet: a packet of condoms! I didn't even know that she had a penis!" :haha: ahahahhahahahahhaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!
Read this whole joke LOlZ (warning is a bit dirty</FONT>)The first declares: "I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter''s room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn't even know that she smoked!" "It gets worse than that," says the second mother. "I was tidying my daughter''s room last week and I found a bottle of vodka under her bed. I didn't even know that she drank!" "Oh, it gets even worse than that," says the third mother. "I was tidying my daughter''s room last week and you''ll never guess what I found in her bedside cabinet: a packet of condoms! I didn't even know that she had a penis!" :haha: ahahahhahahahahhaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: Nov 10, 2007 4:59 AM - Quote - Report!

Serial 177

LOL THAT ROX:D HAHAHHAHA LOL THAT ROX:D HAHAHHAHA
Posted: Nov 10, 2007 8:35 PM - Quote - Report!

Wazoo

its not my best but

a guy is sitting in a pub looking very depressed with his drink in front of him. a bully walked in, sat next to him and gulped down his drink. he just looked even sadder so the bully said wats wrong.
He sighed and said "i slept in late today because my alarm clock was broken i went to work but my boss fired me because i was late again. i went home on a cab but forgot my wallet in the backseat. i ran after it but it was too fast. i nearly got hit by a truck.
when i opened the door to my house i realized i was robbed. i tried to visit my girlfriend but she found out i was fired and dumped me. i felt like i wanted to die. so i came in this bar, sat down and you came in and drank my poison!"
its not my best but

a guy is sitting in a pub looking very depressed with his drink in front of him. a bully walked in, sat next to him and gulped down his drink. he just looked even sadder so the bully said wats wrong.
He sighed and said "i slept in late today because my alarm clock was broken i went to work but my boss fired me because i was late again. i went home on a cab but forgot my wallet in the backseat. i ran after it but it was too fast. i nearly got hit by a truck.
when i opened the door to my house i realized i was robbed. i tried to visit my girlfriend but she found out i was fired and dumped me. i felt like i wanted to die. so i came in this bar, sat down and you came in and drank my poison!"
Posted: Nov 11, 2007 2:04 AM - Quote - Report!

petrucci_owns86

Dane Cook.

I want to have 16 kids someday. I want my wife's vagina to look like Stargate. Kids will just materialize out of it: FFFTT!! "Hello. Cut this please, cut this? Thank you. Well, I'm ready for school."

Go to youtube and type in Dane Cook Vicious Circle (1/9).
Watch the whole show. Fucking hilarious.
Dane Cook.

I want to have 16 kids someday. I want my wife's vagina to look like Stargate. Kids will just materialize out of it: FFFTT!! "Hello. Cut this please, cut this? Thank you. Well, I'm ready for school."

Go to youtube and type in Dane Cook Vicious Circle (1/9).
Watch the whole show. Fucking hilarious.
Posted: Nov 13, 2007 2:59 AM - Quote - Report!

Fire Fingerz

hahahahah those jokes are good <(-_-)> hahahahah those jokes are good <(-_-)>
Posted: Nov 14, 2007 12:49 AM - Quote - Report!

Fire Fingerz

Heres Abother LOL joke:

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.I cant do that, officer.Why not? Because Im an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube. Okay, well just get a urine sample down at the station.Cant do that either, officer.Why not?Because Im a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.Alright, we could get a blood sample. Cant do that either, officer.Why not? Because Im a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die. Fine then, just walk this white line.Cant do that either, officer.Why not?Because Im drunk.


:haha:LOL
Heres Abother LOL joke:

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.I cant do that, officer.Why not? Because Im an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube. Okay, well just get a urine sample down at the station.Cant do that either, officer.Why not?Because Im a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.Alright, we could get a blood sample. Cant do that either, officer.Why not? Because Im a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die. Fine then, just walk this white line.Cant do that either, officer.Why not?Because Im drunk.


:haha:LOL
Posted: Nov 14, 2007 1:06 AM - Quote - Report!

Wazoo

mr. dumbass, i will be the best employee you ever had
mr dumbass, u will make billions out of me
mr.dumbass, when i join, this company is going to be the-
please, my name is [doo-MAS]
mr. dumbass, i will be the best employee you ever had
mr dumbass, u will make billions out of me
mr.dumbass, when i join, this company is going to be the-
please, my name is [doo-MAS]
Posted: Nov 14, 2007 9:31 AM - Quote - Report!

eldoplaysguitar

heres a joke
a father is driving home from work and pulls up at his house just to see his daughter on the floor of the living room with a dildo up her ass. wtf are you doing the dad shouts, well im 17 now and u havent ever let me have a boyfriend so this
is my substitute replys the girl ok then says the dad, 2 days later the girl is drivin ghome from work and getts into the house only to see her dad with a bottle of beer and the dildo shoved up his ass she shouts what are you doing, he replys im having a beer with your boyfriend. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
heres a joke
a father is driving home from work and pulls up at his house just to see his daughter on the floor of the living room with a dildo up her ass. wtf are you doing the dad shouts, well im 17 now and u havent ever let me have a boyfriend so this
is my substitute replys the girl ok then says the dad, 2 days later the girl is drivin ghome from work and getts into the house only to see her dad with a bottle of beer and the dildo shoved up his ass she shouts what are you doing, he replys im having a beer with your boyfriend. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: Nov 14, 2007 8:59 PM - Quote - Report!

Fire Fingerz

LOL LOL LOL and LOL LOL LOL LOL and LOL
Posted: Nov 14, 2007 11:22 PM - Quote - Report!

Wazoo

in a U2 concert, Bono started claping every 2 seconds and said "Everytime I clap, a child in Africa dies of starvation" (or something like that)

then some1 in the audience said "Well, stop clapping then!"
in a U2 concert, Bono started claping every 2 seconds and said "Everytime I clap, a child in Africa dies of starvation" (or something like that)

then some1 in the audience said "Well, stop clapping then!"
Posted: Nov 18, 2007 3:12 AM - Quote - Report!

Space frog

lol, love that lol, love that
Posted: Nov 24, 2007 11:04 PM - Quote - Report!

vigenharutyunya

Can u tell me What you feel first when you shoot at a civilian?! Can u tell me What you feel first when you shoot at a civilian?!
Posted: Dec 13, 2007 12:30 PM - Quote - Report!

vigenharutyunya

You feel the Recoil of your rifle :haha: You feel the Recoil of your rifle :haha:
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 2:01 PM - Quote - Report!

Fire Fingerz

Sorry was that Morning Breeze or Evneing Vibe? Sorry was that Morning Breeze or Evneing Vibe?
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 11:28 PM - Quote - Report!

vigenharutyunya

Shooter! Shooter!
Posted: Dec 15, 2007 2:17 PM - Quote - Report!

punk man dude

lol some of these jokes are way funny but others are just lame im not going to mention any but the majority of them are hilarious lol some of these jokes are way funny but others are just lame im not going to mention any but the majority of them are hilarious
Posted: Feb 9, 2008 7:49 PM - Quote - Report!

Skullbolt

i found one:

i liked when i found out about static electricity cause then i got to play pranks on people, and i liked to build up a static charge and touch random metal objects. however this put me in situations where they could easily tell i pulled the prank. like when my friend was like "hey man where were you for the last 5 hours?" "ummmmm......watching tv" "ok, hey can you hand me my car keys?" and that was also the day i learned my friend had an electric pacemaker...
i found one:

i liked when i found out about static electricity cause then i got to play pranks on people, and i liked to build up a static charge and touch random metal objects. however this put me in situations where they could easily tell i pulled the prank. like when my friend was like "hey man where were you for the last 5 hours?" "ummmmm......watching tv" "ok, hey can you hand me my car keys?" and that was also the day i learned my friend had an electric pacemaker...
Posted: Feb 9, 2008 10:44 PM - Quote - Report!

NightShadow59

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon. --Comedian Chris Rock "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon. --Comedian Chris Rock
Posted: Jun 26, 2008 5:21 AM - Quote - Report!

juavma

It's a blond that just got a new sport car and she drives crazyli so aa guy told her to get off out the car and he drew a circle in front of the car and told her "stay inside of the circle" so he scratches the cars with his keys and looks at the girs, she's like "hahahahaha" so he take a tool and bumps the car, looks at the girs "hahahahaha" so take fire, throw it on the car "hahahahaha" "what's funny ???" "yea but, everytimes you didn't look at me, i get out of the circle "



lol
It's a blond that just got a new sport car and she drives crazyli so aa guy told her to get off out the car and he drew a circle in front of the car and told her "stay inside of the circle" so he scratches the cars with his keys and looks at the girs, she's like "hahahahaha" so he take a tool and bumps the car, looks at the girs "hahahahaha" so take fire, throw it on the car "hahahahaha" "what's funny ???" "yea but, everytimes you didn't look at me, i get out of the circle "



lol
Posted: Feb 2, 2009 10:20 PM - Quote - Report!
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