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Who is Mr. Swift?

NoOne0507

The character, Mr. Swift, started about a year ago as a joke between my father and I. We thought it would be fun to refer to each other as Mr. Swift for this party we went to. The other guests loved the joke, and Mr. Swift grew from there.

The original character was based around Teddy Roosevelt, but to add depth to Mr. Swift, I added the absurdity of Mayor Adam West (minus the campy-ness),
the willful ignorance of Stephen Colbert, and finally rooted his rhetoric in logical fallacies.

From this point on, I will be speaking as Mr. Swift, please read this in a Teddy Roosevelt style voice, and remember Catholic is pronounced Cath-o-lic:

Proper trainmen wear black. The job of a proper trainman is rather greasy, thus necessitating the need of black clothing; to hide the stains of grease. Unfortunately, the Catholics do not accept this! They believe that the proper trainman wears, blue! Blue! Blue is not fit for a proper trainman! Only Catholic could come up with an idea so absolutely ridiculous!

Because of the dictatorship of the Catholics, the MYTH of a proper trainman wearing blue has been perpetuated for 122 long years! In fact, most, if not all of you, have never even seen a trainman wearing black! This is despicable! But why do these trainman wear blue? The answer to this can be traced back to the Railroad Dispute of 1888!

When the revision for the proper garb of a trainman came up for revision in 1888, many considered the correct color, black, to be easily kept with no controversy. Oh, but the dirty Catholics had different plans! The bastards kept pushing for blue! The garb of a proper trainman is something that a TRUE proper trainman would NEVER compromise on. A proper trainman wears black. That is the way it was, and that is the way it should be!

The Catholics kept pushing for blue. Through murder, blackmail, and a paperclip, they passed this abomination! Life for the Swifts and the Catholics has never since been the same.

Like all Catholic plans, this was ill-conceived, they are Catholics afterall! After the dispute the Proper Trainman Society (PTS), was founded.
The Swift family and the PTS has fought for 5 generations to keep the spirit of the proper trainman alive! We have, however, failed to stop the harmful myth of a blue trainman.

Now dear reader, I ask you, are you with us, the Proper Trainman Society, or are you with those filthy Catholics!
The character, Mr. Swift, started about a year ago as a joke between my father and I. We thought it would be fun to refer to each other as Mr. Swift for this party we went to. The other guests loved the joke, and Mr. Swift grew from there.

The original character was based around Teddy Roosevelt, but to add depth to Mr. Swift, I added the absurdity of Mayor Adam West (minus the campy-ness),
the willful ignorance of Stephen Colbert, and finally rooted his rhetoric in logical fallacies.

From this point on, I will be speaking as Mr. Swift, please read this in a Teddy Roosevelt style voice, and remember Catholic is pronounced Cath-o-lic:

Proper trainmen wear black. The job of a proper trainman is rather greasy, thus necessitating the need of black clothing; to hide the stains of grease. Unfortunately, the Catholics do not accept this! They believe that the proper trainman wears, blue! Blue! Blue is not fit for a proper trainman! Only Catholic could come up with an idea so absolutely ridiculous!

Because of the dictatorship of the Catholics, the MYTH of a proper trainman wearing blue has been perpetuated for 122 long years! In fact, most, if not all of you, have never even seen a trainman wearing black! This is despicable! But why do these trainman wear blue? The answer to this can be traced back to the Railroad Dispute of 1888!

When the revision for the proper garb of a trainman came up for revision in 1888, many considered the correct color, black, to be easily kept with no controversy. Oh, but the dirty Catholics had different plans! The bastards kept pushing for blue! The garb of a proper trainman is something that a TRUE proper trainman would NEVER compromise on. A proper trainman wears black. That is the way it was, and that is the way it should be!

The Catholics kept pushing for blue. Through murder, blackmail, and a paperclip, they passed this abomination! Life for the Swifts and the Catholics has never since been the same.

Like all Catholic plans, this was ill-conceived, they are Catholics afterall!  After the dispute the Proper Trainman Society (PTS), was founded.
The Swift family and the PTS has fought for 5 generations to keep the spirit of the proper trainman alive! We have, however, failed to stop the harmful myth of a blue trainman.

Now dear reader, I ask you, are you with us, the Proper Trainman Society, or are you with those filthy Catholics!
Posted: Apr 10, 2010 6:33 AM - Quote - Report!

geanes

I'm leaning towards the Cath-o-lic's. :shrug: I'm leaning towards the Cath-o-lic's. :shrug:
Posted: Apr 11, 2010 9:10 AM - Quote - Report!

jasonggabbott

Imagine how much further I society would be, if they didn't destroy all the information from thousands of years! I am a train man, but one that has the balls to wear BLACK! Come to think of it, shouldn't doctors wear red? Imagine how much further I society would be, if they didn't destroy all the information from thousands of years! I am a train man, but one that has the balls to wear BLACK! Come to think of it, shouldn't doctors wear red?
Posted: Apr 21, 2010 4:56 AM - Quote - Report!

NoOne0507

Proper Medical Professionals wear red. Proper Medical Professionals wear red.
Posted: Apr 22, 2010 6:42 AM - Quote - Report!
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