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Brainstorming

FrustratedRocka

OK, here goes nothing. The main framework of the story is that of a man who is somehow transported into a dream world (the general consensus so far is that he is somehow in a coma.) He initially finds this dream world to be a utopian paradise, but it eventually turns into a dystopian nightmare. While this is happening, the protagonist becomes increasingly aware of a need to escape back to the real world.

WHAT WE NEED IS:
  • A method of transport to and eventual escape from the dream/nightmare world (if we go with the coma idea, we need a way for him to enter the coma.)
  • Events that occur while in the dream world - what does he do, what's it like exactly
  • How it transitions into a nightmare
  • Method of escape
  • Whatever else you feel is necessary/relevant/would be awesome
Thanks for your cooperation.
OK, here goes nothing.  The main framework of the story is that of a man who is somehow transported into a dream world (the general consensus so far is that he is somehow in a coma.)  He initially finds this dream world to be a utopian paradise, but it eventually turns into a dystopian nightmare.  While this is happening, the protagonist becomes increasingly aware of a need to escape back to the real world. 

WHAT WE NEED IS:
  • A method of transport to and eventual escape from the dream/nightmare world (if we go with the coma idea, we need a way for him to enter the coma.)
  • Events that occur while in the dream world - what does he do, what's it like exactly
  • How it transitions into a nightmare
  • Method of escape
  • Whatever else you feel is necessary/relevant/would be awesome
Thanks for your cooperation.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 2:58 AM - Quote - Report!

2 15/16

He could enter the coma by overdosing on some sort of drug or injury from a war.
He could just "wake up" in the dream world or through a portal in his mind.
There should be a beautiful jungle island with mountains and rich wilderness but also a big city with beyond modern technology and incredibly nice people and everything is perfect.
People from this world could come after him after a while because they know he's an outsider and everything can turn into a nightmare from there.
The escape from the nightmare could be him getting off the island somehow or "falling asleep"
He could enter the coma by overdosing on some sort of drug or injury from a war. He could just "wake up" in the dream world or through a portal in his mind. There should be a beautiful jungle island with mountains and rich wilderness but also a big city with beyond modern technology and incredibly nice people and everything is perfect. People from this world could come after him after a while because they know he's an outsider and everything can turn into a nightmare from there. The escape from the nightmare could be him getting off the island somehow or "falling asleep"
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 3:43 AM - Quote - Report!

bry0n

well, we don't really need the jungle island part, then, do we? well, we don't really need the jungle island part, then, do we?
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 3:47 AM - Quote - Report!

The Kush

About the "people from this world coming after him" idea - it just seems to me like if they were that malicious, it couldn't be a utopia. It's definitely a good possibility, though. I think maybe he shouldn't even know that he's in a coma, but he realizes that there's something wrong with the world being so perfect, and things start to go bad when he tries to investigate.

I also think we need to emphasize that it's not some actual world, but just something manufactured in his mind. If we do the whole coma thing, that is.
About the "people from this world coming after him" idea - it just seems to me like if they were that malicious, it couldn't be a utopia. It's definitely a good possibility, though. I think maybe he shouldn't even know that he's in a coma, but he realizes that there's something wrong with the world being so perfect, and things start to go bad when he tries to investigate. I also think we need to emphasize that it's not some actual world, but just something manufactured in his mind. If we do the whole coma thing, that is.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 3:57 AM - Quote - Report!

brndnstffrd

I havent really thought of anyting else, but one way to enter into te dream world, even though its cliche, could be that he opens up this box tht he finds and a light shines out and he is sucked in (even though his body physically remains where he is) im thinking of a few song ideas that could detail this happening if we use this... I havent really thought of anyting else, but one way to enter into te dream world, even though its cliche, could be that he opens up this box tht he finds and a light shines out and he is sucked in (even though his body physically remains where he is) im thinking of a few song ideas that could detail this happening if we use this...
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 4:02 AM - Quote - Report!

itchy guitar

The Kush wrote on Feb 16th, 2010 at 10:57pm :
About the "people from this world coming after him" idea - it just seems to me like if they were that malicious, it couldn't be a utopia. It's definitely a good possibility, though. I think maybe he shouldn't even know that he's in a coma, but he realizes that there's something wrong with the world being so perfect, and things start to go bad when he tries to investigate.



I agree. I think that maybe, he could be in an accident, say a car crash. (we can end a song with the sound of screeching tires and a smash.) Following that he wakes up to a world that looks identical to the real world but is perfect. He thinks that it is the real world but comes to the realization that the world can never be this perfect. (we could even get all moral and philosophical in that part.) He remembers the crash and realizes that this world is fake.
[QUOTE u='The Kush' d='2010-02-16 22:57:03']About the "people from this world coming after him" idea - it just seems to me like if they were that malicious, it couldn't be a utopia. It's definitely a good possibility, though. I think maybe he shouldn't even know that he's in a coma, but he realizes that there's something wrong with the world being so perfect, and things start to go bad when he tries to investigate. [/QUOTE] I agree. I think that maybe, he could be in an accident, say a car crash. (we can end a song with the sound of screeching tires and a smash.) Following that he wakes up to a world that looks identical to the real world but is perfect. He thinks that it is the real world but comes to the realization that the world can never be this perfect. (we could even get all moral and philosophical in that part.) He remembers the crash and realizes that this world is fake.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 4:03 AM - Quote - Report!

The Kush

itchy guitar wrote on Feb 16th, 2010 at 11:03pm :
I agree. I think that maybe, he could be in an accident, say a car crash. (we can end a song with the sound of screeching tires and a smash.) Following that he wakes up to a world that looks identical to the real world but is perfect. He thinks that it is the real world but comes to the realization that the world can never be this perfect. (we could even get all moral and philosophical in that part.) He remembers the crash and realizes that this world is fake.
Exactly. I like this. Though it should be something other than a car crash, because apparently Ayreon already used that in The Human Equation.
[QUOTE u='itchy guitar' d='2010-02-16 23:03:22']I agree. I think that maybe, he could be in an accident, say a car crash. (we can end a song with the sound of screeching tires and a smash.) Following that he wakes up to a world that looks identical to the real world but is perfect. He thinks that it is the real world but comes to the realization that the world can never be this perfect. (we could even get all moral and philosophical in that part.) He remembers the crash and realizes that this world is fake.[/QUOTE] Exactly. I like this. Though it should be something other than a car crash, because apparently Ayreon already used that in The Human Equation.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 4:10 AM - Quote - Report!

itchy guitar

Damn it! I even had the sound effects planned out. Damn it! I even had the sound effects planned out.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 4:18 AM - Quote - Report!

The Kush

^Dream Theater already did the whole "car crash sound effects in a song" thing with A Nightmare to Remember anyway. :p ^Dream Theater already did the whole "car crash sound effects in a song" thing with A Nightmare to Remember anyway. :p
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 4:19 AM - Quote - Report!

itchy guitar

You're right. I've listened to that album so many times, I can't believe I forgot about it. subconscious plagiarism FTL. You're right. I've listened to that album so many times, I can't believe I forgot about it. subconscious plagiarism FTL.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 4:27 AM - Quote - Report!

The Kush

Haha, once I thought I wrote the machine gun riff from One, or at least something really really similar.

On topic, what kind of accident should he have that leaves him in a coma? It could also be a disease or something, but I think it should be some really abrupt accident. Then it would make more sense for his mind to invent this dream world, to deal with the shock or something. If we can't think of anything else, he could get hit by a car. Not that much different from a car crash, but different enough, I guess.
Haha, once I thought I wrote the machine gun riff from One, or at least something really really similar. On topic, what kind of accident should he have that leaves him in a coma? It could also be a disease or something, but I think it should be some really abrupt accident. Then it would make more sense for his mind to invent this dream world, to deal with the shock or something. If we can't think of anything else, he could get hit by a car. Not that much different from a car crash, but different enough, I guess.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 4:36 AM - Quote - Report!

2 15/16

The Kush wrote on Feb 16th, 2010 at 10:57pm :
About the "people from this world coming after him" idea - it just seems to me like if they were that malicious, it couldn't be a utopia. It's definitely a good possibility, though. I think maybe he shouldn't even know that he's in a coma, but he realizes that there's something wrong with the world being so perfect, and things start to go bad when he tries to investigate.

I also think we need to emphasize that it's not some actual world, but just something manufactured in his mind. If we do the whole coma thing, that is.
I was kinda thinking that they weren't hostile at all until he like breaks a huge custom or something and then it all turns. This idea is based off him not knowing it's a dream and hence the whole escape from the island idea. The car crash idea sounds good except that it's already been used. Maybe a it could be a musician in a helicopter crash. Someone could do helicopter noises with a guitar like Tom Morello or something.
[QUOTE u='The Kush' d='2010-02-16 22:57:03']About the "people from this world coming after him" idea - it just seems to me like if they were that malicious, it couldn't be a utopia. It's definitely a good possibility, though. I think maybe he shouldn't even know that he's in a coma, but he realizes that there's something wrong with the world being so perfect, and things start to go bad when he tries to investigate. I also think we need to emphasize that it's not some actual world, but just something manufactured in his mind. If we do the whole coma thing, that is.[/QUOTE] I was kinda thinking that they weren't hostile at all until he like breaks a huge custom or something and then it all turns. This idea is based off him not knowing it's a dream and hence the whole escape from the island idea. The car crash idea sounds good except that it's already been used. Maybe a it could be a musician in a helicopter crash. Someone could do helicopter noises with a guitar like Tom Morello or something.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 4:42 AM - Quote - Report!

Oddball191

Hey guys, just an idea i had...

Maybe this dream could involve pieces from his memory, that maybe he doesn't quite remember? To start with, the dream could loosely follow happy parts of his life, but then all the bad parts, whatever they may be, barge their way in, turning the dream into a nightmare. Or if its not too complicated, include bits of his future life?

I'll think on it. Say if you guys are interested
Hey guys, just an idea i had... Maybe this dream could involve pieces from his memory, that maybe he doesn't quite remember? To start with, the dream could loosely follow happy parts of his life, but then all the bad parts, whatever they may be, barge their way in, turning the dream into a nightmare. Or if its not too complicated, include bits of his future life? I'll think on it. Say if you guys are interested
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 9:09 AM - Quote - Report!

Kensai

I had the idea earlier that the album would look something like:

* Intro (man falling into the coma) (Adagio)
* The Nightmare (man finds himself trapped in a nightmarish place, inside his own head) (adagio/allegretto)
* Discovery/Adventure (Man on quest to rid himself of the nightmarish things) (Not sure about the tempo)
* Finale/Escape (Man escapes the nightmarish world, either by waking up from the coma or simply finding "another place in his head") (Allegretto-adagio)

Doesn't have to be four movements, so think of it like a general gist or flow or so.

If we can come up with an idea for how it's supposed to flow, or accept this one, we can work on the underlying story. I personally like the idea of the man falling into a coma a mystery.

Thoughts?
I had the idea earlier that the album would look something like:

    * Intro (man falling into the coma) (Adagio)
    * The Nightmare (man finds himself trapped in a nightmarish place, inside his own head) (adagio/allegretto)
    * Discovery/Adventure (Man on quest to rid himself of the nightmarish things) (Not sure about the tempo)
    * Finale/Escape (Man escapes the nightmarish world, either by waking up from the coma or simply finding "another place in his head") (Allegretto-adagio)

Doesn't have to be four movements, so think of it like a general gist or flow or so.

If we can come up with an idea for how it's supposed to flow, or accept this one, we can work on the underlying story. I personally like the idea of the man falling into a coma a mystery.

Thoughts?
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 10:04 AM - Quote - Report!

ultimate-slash

How about if we start the album with the guy leading a miserable life, and trying to kill himself by taking an overdose of drugs, but he fails to kill himself and ends up in a coma?

And as far as the utopian world turning bad goes, I was thinking about something along the lines of a basically perfect world, and everyone is friendly and healthy and literally nothing seems to go wrong, he makes some new friends, he basically has a great few days/weeks/months (I don't know how long we won't him to be in a coma). Then he notices that things indeed seem perfect, but all imperfections just somehow disappear. Maybe we could put some emphasis on this by making him fall in love or something, or gaining a friend, and letting that friend/love disappear once he gets into an argument with this friend/love, because this doesn't fit in a utopian world.

He then somehow finds out that the reason this world seems like a utopia, is because everything he thinks about seems to become reality. This needs some work but could explain a lot of the story, for example:
- If he tries to kill himself like I mentioned, this idea can reflect back on his life before the coma > He is miserable, nothing goes the way he wants it to, everything seem to be against it, but in his dream, everything goes the way he seems to want it.
- If he finds out that his mind is what's making this world a utopia, it would be easier to think up a way of him discovering that he's in a coma. Maybe he could have some random flashbacks every once in a while, which slowly tell him of the life he had before.
- It could change into a dramatic part, when he finds out that it is all caused by him, because he goes crazy through the combinations of flashbacks, and him not knowing what he wants anymore, thus destroying his whole utopia.

Just a rough idea for the plot here.
How about if we start the album with the guy leading a miserable life, and trying to kill himself by taking an overdose of drugs, but he fails to kill himself and ends up in a coma? And as far as the utopian world turning bad goes, I was thinking about something along the lines of a basically perfect world, and everyone is friendly and healthy and literally nothing seems to go wrong, he makes some new friends, he basically has a great few days/weeks/months (I don't know how long we won't him to be in a coma). Then he notices that things indeed seem perfect, but all imperfections just somehow disappear. Maybe we could put some emphasis on this by making him fall in love or something, or gaining a friend, and letting that friend/love disappear once he gets into an argument with this friend/love, because this doesn't fit in a utopian world. He then somehow finds out that the reason this world seems like a utopia, is because everything he thinks about seems to become reality. This needs some work but could explain a lot of the story, for example: - If he tries to kill himself like I mentioned, this idea can reflect back on his life before the coma > He is miserable, nothing goes the way he wants it to, everything seem to be against it, but in his dream, everything goes the way he seems to want it. - If he finds out that his mind is what's making this world a utopia, it would be easier to think up a way of him discovering that he's in a coma. Maybe he could have some random flashbacks every once in a while, which slowly tell him of the life he had before. - It could change into a dramatic part, when he finds out that it is all caused by him, because he goes crazy through the combinations of flashbacks, and him not knowing what he wants anymore, thus destroying his whole utopia. Just a rough idea for the plot here.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 10:21 AM - Quote - Report!

ultimate-slash

I also like the idea Kensai mentioned with the four movements, it would be easier to fit a story into those categories :)


EDIT:

Just about the idea to leave how he got into a coma a mystery, but if (big if) we might end up with the idea I mentioned, with him trying to kill himself and all that, maybe it would be cool to let have small flashbacks throughout the story, showing his life before he entered the utopian world, which confuse him at the start, but he also realizes later on that he tried to kill himself...

Anyway, just post what you think about this :o
I also like the idea Kensai mentioned with the four movements, it would be easier to fit a story into those categories :)
 
 
EDIT:
 
Just about the idea to leave how he got into a coma a mystery, but if (big if) we might end up with the idea I mentioned, with him trying to kill himself and all that, maybe it would be cool to let have small flashbacks throughout the story, showing his life before he entered the utopian world, which confuse him at the start, but he also realizes later on that he tried to kill himself...
 
Anyway, just post what you think about this :o
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 10:23 AM - Quote - Report!

AngusPetrucci

Its would appear that kensai had the same idea i had with the movements.
Anyway, i like the whole not knowing hes in a coma idea.

Utlimate slashs idea is cool,

Have it were a man is tired of his flawed world and decides to end his real life, but just as he pulls the trigger he faints. He awakens into said perfect world and realizes how amazing the perfect world is. As he enjoys it, he soon figures out that in a perfect society, he is slowly going insane from the repetiveness and stressless life he now leads. As his mental compacity degrades, he is no longer able to imagine a perfect world, and it starts to become just like the flawed world he lives in reality. As the problems mount and he starts to hate life as much as he used to,
(i havent came up with the events yet) He is eventually reminded that his actual life isnt that bad, and, by placeing a gun to his head a second time, he returns to life.

Does it have to end with his return to the real world?
Its would appear that kensai had the same idea i had with the movements. Anyway, i like the whole not knowing hes in a coma idea. Utlimate slashs idea is cool, Have it were a man is tired of his flawed world and decides to end his real life, but just as he pulls the trigger he faints. He awakens into said perfect world and realizes how amazing the perfect world is. As he enjoys it, he soon figures out that in a perfect society, he is slowly going insane from the repetiveness and stressless life he now leads. As his mental compacity degrades, he is no longer able to imagine a perfect world, and it starts to become just like the flawed world he lives in reality. As the problems mount and he starts to hate life as much as he used to, (i havent came up with the events yet) He is eventually reminded that his actual life isnt that bad, and, by placeing a gun to his head a second time, he returns to life. Does it have to end with his return to the real world?
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 11:19 AM - Quote - Report!

ultimate-slash

Maybe it would be cool if you don't add a 'happy' ending, and make it so that when he puts the gun against his head the second time, everything just stops, so basically leaving a somewhat open end. This could also mean that he succeeded in killing himself. Maybe it would be cool if you don't add a 'happy' ending, and make it so that when he puts the gun against his head the second time, everything just stops, so basically leaving a somewhat open end. This could also mean that he succeeded in killing himself.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 11:34 AM - Quote - Report!

soulflyV

I agree with ultimate-slash, a happy ending is just too cookie-cutter for a story like this.

What I'm thinking is: The guy is on one of those Arctic fishing boats, and falls into the ocean. As he hits the water he blacks out (either by shock or from hitting his head on an iceberg or something) and the whole utopia part of the story occurs in the few minutes it takes for him to die from the cold.

As his body shuts down and goes into panic, the dream starts to turn violent and as he triumphs over his challenges, whatever they may be, his body finally gives up and the dream abruptly ends.
I agree with ultimate-slash, a happy ending is just too cookie-cutter for a story like this.

What I'm thinking is: The guy is on one of those Arctic fishing boats, and falls into the ocean. As he hits the water he blacks out (either by shock or from hitting his head on an iceberg or something) and the whole utopia part of the story occurs in the few minutes it takes for him to die from the cold.

As his body shuts down and goes into panic, the dream starts to turn violent and as he triumphs over his challenges, whatever they may be, his body finally gives up and the dream abruptly ends.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 12:29 PM - Quote - Report!

The Kush

About the suicide thing, I don't know about him fainting right as he pulls the trigger, that just seems sort of contrived. Maybe he should try to overdose on sleeping pills or something, but the dose fails to kill him and sends him into a coma instead. Or it could be any method of suicide that could fail and put him in a coma. But I really like everything Ultimate-Slash posted. AngusPetrucci's idea of the world getting worse as a result of his failing mental health is really cool, but if we go with the idea of making the coma unknown to the readers, and do it well, it could be amazing. About the suicide thing, I don't know about him fainting right as he pulls the trigger, that just seems sort of contrived. Maybe he should try to overdose on sleeping pills or something, but the dose fails to kill him and sends him into a coma instead. Or it could be any method of suicide that could fail and put him in a coma. But I really like everything Ultimate-Slash posted. AngusPetrucci's idea of the world getting worse as a result of his failing mental health is really cool, but if we go with the idea of making the coma unknown to the readers, and do it well, it could be amazing.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 4:17 PM - Quote - Report!

IRISH_PUNK13

The Kush wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 11:17am :
About the suicide thing, I don't know about him fainting right as he pulls the trigger, that just seems sort of contrived. Maybe he should try to overdose on sleeping pills or something, but the dose fails to kill him and sends him into a coma instead. Or it could be any method of suicide that could fail and put him in a coma. But I really like everything Ultimate-Slash posted. AngusPetrucci's idea of the world getting worse as a result of his failing mental health is really cool, but if we go with the idea of making the coma unknown to the readers, and do it well, it could be amazing.

yeah i like it and then as the music starts it could be given a dreamy shoegaze guitar vibe with maybe a chorus and a flanger.
[QUOTE u='The Kush' d='2010-02-17 11:17:53']About the suicide thing, I don't know about him fainting right as he pulls the trigger, that just seems sort of contrived. Maybe he should try to overdose on sleeping pills or something, but the dose fails to kill him and sends him into a coma instead. Or it could be any method of suicide that could fail and put him in a coma. But I really like everything Ultimate-Slash posted. AngusPetrucci's idea of the world getting worse as a result of his failing mental health is really cool, but if we go with the idea of making the coma unknown to the readers, and do it well, it could be amazing.[/QUOTE] yeah i like it and then as the music starts it could be given a dreamy shoegaze guitar vibe with maybe a chorus and a flanger.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 8:31 PM - Quote - Report!

FrustratedRocka

soulflyV wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:29am :
I agree with ultimate-slash, a happy ending is just too cookie-cutter for a story like this.


What I'm thinking is:

The guy is on one of those Arctic fishing boats, and falls into the ocean. As he hits the water he blacks out (either by shock or from hitting his head on an iceberg or something) and the whole utopia part of the story occurs in the few minutes it takes for him to die from the cold.

As his body shuts down and goes into panic, the dream starts to turn violent and as he triumphs over his challenges, whatever they may be, his body finally gives up and the dream abruptly ends.


That is f*cking brilliant.
[QUOTE u='soulflyV' d='2010-02-17 07:29:50']I agree with ultimate-slash, a happy ending is just too cookie-cutter for a story like this.

What I'm thinking is: The guy is on one of those Arctic fishing boats, and falls into the ocean. As he hits the water he blacks out (either by shock or from hitting his head on an iceberg or something) and the whole utopia part of the story occurs in the few minutes it takes for him to die from the cold.

As his body shuts down and goes into panic, the dream starts to turn violent and as he triumphs over his challenges, whatever they may be, his body finally gives up and the dream abruptly ends.[/QUOTE] That is f*cking brilliant.
Posted: Feb 17, 2010 11:45 PM - Quote - Report!

AngusPetrucci

IRISH_PUNK13 wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 3:31pm :
The Kush wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 11:17am :
About the suicide thing, I don't know about him fainting right as he pulls the trigger, that just seems sort of contrived. Maybe he should try to overdose on sleeping pills or something, but the dose fails to kill him and sends him into a coma instead. Or it could be any method of suicide that could fail and put him in a coma. But I really like everything Ultimate-Slash posted. AngusPetrucci's idea of the world getting worse as a result of his failing mental health is really cool, but if we go with the idea of making the coma unknown to the readers, and do it well, it could be amazing.

yeah i like it and then as the music starts it could be given a dreamy shoegaze guitar vibe with maybe a chorus and a flanger.
Ever heard count of tuscany? lol

Anyway, i like the whole OD deal, it really does give a VALID reason for the coma, and the rest of mine will fall right into place.
[QUOTE u='IRISH_PUNK13' d='2010-02-17 15:31:38'][QUOTE u='The Kush' d='2010-02-17 11:17:53']About the suicide thing, I don't know about him fainting right as he pulls the trigger, that just seems sort of contrived. Maybe he should try to overdose on sleeping pills or something, but the dose fails to kill him and sends him into a coma instead. Or it could be any method of suicide that could fail and put him in a coma. But I really like everything Ultimate-Slash posted. AngusPetrucci's idea of the world getting worse as a result of his failing mental health is really cool, but if we go with the idea of making the coma unknown to the readers, and do it well, it could be amazing.[/QUOTE] yeah i like it and then as the music starts it could be given a dreamy shoegaze guitar vibe with maybe a chorus and a flanger.[/QUOTE]Ever heard count of tuscany? lol Anyway, i like the whole OD deal, it really does give a VALID reason for the coma, and the rest of mine will fall right into place.
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 12:05 AM - Quote - Report!

boreamor

Why not have him start in the dream world, then slowly realize that he's in a "dream world" and that's why he's trying to escape. Maybe near the end he has memories flash back in the middle of singing about the utopian world, and it becomes dystopian because he remembers about his love and family and tries desperately to get back to them? As for the reason he's in the coma, it should probably be something fairly simple, but still life threatening. Car crash/plane crash/ship wreck/attacked whilst protecting family/etc.
And maybe in the end it's not a happy ending, because when he returns to the real world, he finds the ones he loved died in the accident/or whatever and he desperately wishes he was back in the dream world.

Why not have him start in the dream world, then slowly realize that he's in a "dream world" and that's why he's trying to escape. Maybe near the end he has memories flash back in the middle of singing about the utopian world, and it becomes dystopian because he remembers about his love and family and tries desperately to get back to them? As for the reason he's in the coma, it should probably be something fairly simple, but still life threatening. Car crash/plane crash/ship wreck/attacked whilst protecting family/etc.
And maybe in the end it's not a happy ending, because when he returns to the real world, he finds the ones he loved died in the accident/or whatever and he desperately wishes he was back in the dream world.

Posted: Feb 18, 2010 12:18 AM - Quote - Report!

kumamilesbear

FrustratedRocka wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 6:45pm :
soulflyV wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:29am :
I agree with ultimate-slash, a happy ending is just too cookie-cutter for a story like this.


What I'm thinking is:

The guy is on one of those Arctic fishing boats, and falls into the ocean. As he hits the water he blacks out (either by shock or from hitting his head on an iceberg or something) and the whole utopia part of the story occurs in the few minutes it takes for him to die from the cold.

As his body shuts down and goes into panic, the dream starts to turn violent and as he triumphs over his challenges, whatever they may be, his body finally gives up and the dream abruptly ends.


That is f*cking brilliant.

Yes
[QUOTE u='FrustratedRocka' d='2010-02-17 18:45:10'][QUOTE u='soulflyV' d='2010-02-17 07:29:50']I agree with ultimate-slash, a happy ending is just too cookie-cutter for a story like this.

What I'm thinking is: The guy is on one of those Arctic fishing boats, and falls into the ocean. As he hits the water he blacks out (either by shock or from hitting his head on an iceberg or something) and the whole utopia part of the story occurs in the few minutes it takes for him to die from the cold.

As his body shuts down and goes into panic, the dream starts to turn violent and as he triumphs over his challenges, whatever they may be, his body finally gives up and the dream abruptly ends.[/QUOTE] That is f*cking brilliant.[/QUOTE] Yes
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 1:55 AM - Quote - Report!

AngusPetrucci

Soulfly is our resident genius,

All hail him and his story writing godlyness.
Soulfly is our resident genius, All hail him and his story writing godlyness.
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 2:12 AM - Quote - Report!

kumamilesbear

Damn skippy Damn skippy
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 2:16 AM - Quote - Report!

ultimate-slash

I really like soulflyV's idea, it could really fit everything that's happening outside the utopian world, though my main concern I guess is, what kind of events could we make him go through in the utopian world without making these irrelevant to his experiences outside the dreamworld?
I'm not saying I wouldn't want to go with the idea, because I actually like it, I'm just not sure about what I just said.

Has anyone got some ideas for that?
I really like soulflyV's idea, it could really fit everything that's happening outside the utopian world, though my main concern I guess is, what kind of events could we make him go through in the utopian world without making these irrelevant to his experiences outside the dreamworld? I'm not saying I wouldn't want to go with the idea, because I actually like it, I'm just not sure about what I just said. Has anyone got some ideas for that?
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 11:27 AM - Quote - Report!

soulflyV

Haha I wouldn't go labelling me as any kind of genius yet. ultimate-slash has pointed out the largest gaping hole in the story (which is something I've been thinking about ever since I posted the 'main' part of the story).


He needs a history. If we run with the guy in the ocean thing, part of the history will have to be what drove him to his secluded lifestyle...

I have a few ideas:

A) he took the job out in the Arctic seas because he lost his girlfriend/wife/close family member (your average lone stranger plot)

B) he is there providing for his family (I guess this makes the story even more tragic if that's the angle we want to go)

C) he's out there because he killed someone and is now trying to put as much distance between the incident and himself as possible (could make for some very interesting issues once things start going dystopian. this could also mean that the reader is kept guessing whether or not the character is good or evil as the memories of the event are unveiled up until the final moment)

D) he's secretly out there to find a lost treasure


Now the events of the dream:

A) His utopia consists of his old hometown and as he explores his town with his loved one, he unravels memories that start to remind him of how his loved one died (could be good as a sort of mystery element). As his body shuts down he pieces the full story together and either the loved one disappears completely and the dream ends (and he dies) or we take the Swiss route and have the loved one take him to heaven/a peaceful afterlife.

B) Pretty much the same as A except that he is visiting all the members of his family spread across the imaginary city (doesn't have to be a city could any dreamscape we choose) and when things start going wrong he must reunite them all and say his final goodbyes. As he dies he either sacrifices himself to save the family or is somehow taken from the family by some freak force of nature. Or whatever fits in with the utopian dreamscape.

C) This one I think could be the most interesting. His utopia consists of a place where the people abhor sinning. The character tries to become part of the society he always wished for. He tries to live with the people but their 'perfect' ways begin to irritate and eventually infuriate him, and his anger brings back the repressed memories of the events before the murder. Eventually he can't stand the people any more and lashes out at one, sending the whole population into a vengeful frenzy. The character must escape the town/city/village/whatever bent on destroying him while trying to remember the final events before he fired the gun. As he recollects his final memory he leaves the dream through a weird gate, either feeling good (if he is made to be a good character) or with a feeling of impending doom (if he is made to be evil).


D) His utopia is a sort of jungle (perhaps like the forests in Avatar) and the character must follow an old path with challenges along the way to find the ancient treasure he was secretly looking for in real life. He finds the treasure and his mind can't comprehend this as he never found it in real life. The jungle/temple start to fall apart as he dies and as he finally frees himself from the area collapsing in on itself he dies in real life.


Any good ideas in here or should I think some more up?
Haha I wouldn't go labelling me as any kind of genius yet. ultimate-slash has pointed out the largest gaping hole in the story (which is something I've been thinking about ever since I posted the 'main' part of the story). He needs a history. If we run with the guy in the ocean thing, part of the history will have to be what drove him to his secluded lifestyle... I have a few ideas: A) he took the job out in the Arctic seas because he lost his girlfriend/wife/close family member (your average lone stranger plot) B) he is there providing for his family (I guess this makes the story even more tragic if that's the angle we want to go) C) he's out there because he killed someone and is now trying to put as much distance between the incident and himself as possible (could make for some very interesting issues once things start going dystopian. this could also mean that the reader is kept guessing whether or not the character is good or evil as the memories of the event are unveiled up until the final moment) D) he's secretly out there to find a lost treasure Now the events of the dream: A) His utopia consists of his old hometown and as he explores his town with his loved one, he unravels memories that start to remind him of how his loved one died (could be good as a sort of mystery element). As his body shuts down he pieces the full story together and either the loved one disappears completely and the dream ends (and he dies) or we take the Swiss route and have the loved one take him to heaven/a peaceful afterlife. B) Pretty much the same as A except that he is visiting all the members of his family spread across the imaginary city (doesn't have to be a city could any dreamscape we choose) and when things start going wrong he must reunite them all and say his final goodbyes. As he dies he either sacrifices himself to save the family or is somehow taken from the family by some freak force of nature. Or whatever fits in with the utopian dreamscape. C) This one I think could be the most interesting. His utopia consists of a place where the people abhor sinning. The character tries to become part of the society he always wished for. He tries to live with the people but their 'perfect' ways begin to irritate and eventually infuriate him, and his anger brings back the repressed memories of the events before the murder. Eventually he can't stand the people any more and lashes out at one, sending the whole population into a vengeful frenzy. The character must escape the town/city/village/whatever bent on destroying him while trying to remember the final events before he fired the gun. As he recollects his final memory he leaves the dream through a weird gate, either feeling good (if he is made to be a good character) or with a feeling of impending doom (if he is made to be evil). D) His utopia is a sort of jungle (perhaps like the forests in Avatar) and the character must follow an old path with challenges along the way to find the ancient treasure he was secretly looking for in real life. He finds the treasure and his mind can't comprehend this as he never found it in real life. The jungle/temple start to fall apart as he dies and as he finally frees himself from the area collapsing in on itself he dies in real life. Any good ideas in here or should I think some more up?
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 4:19 PM - Quote - Report!

kumamilesbear

SoulflyV, you are fucking amazing. How do you have all these damn stories in your head? xD SoulflyV, you are fucking amazing. How do you have all these damn stories in your head? xD
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 5:49 PM - Quote - Report!

ultimate-slash

A) he took the job out in the Arctic seas because he lost his girlfriend/wife/close family member (your average lone stranger plot)

C) he's out there because he killed someone and is now trying to put as much distance between the incident and himself as possible (could make for some very interesting issues once things start going dystopian. this could also mean that the reader is kept guessing whether or not the character is good or evil as the memories of the event are unveiled up until the final moment)

C) This one I think could be the most interesting. His utopia consists of a place where the people abhor sinning. The character tries to become part of the society he always wished for. He tries to live with the people but their 'perfect' ways begin to irritate and eventually infuriate him, and his anger brings back the repressed memories of the events before the murder. Eventually he can't stand the people any more and lashes out at one, sending the whole population into a vengeful frenzy. The character must escape the town/city/village/whatever bent on destroying him while trying to remember the final events before he fired the gun. As he recollects his final memory he leaves the dream through a weird gate, either feeling good (if he is made to be a good character) or with a feeling of impending doom (if he is made to be evil).


I like these three ideas from soulflyV best, though A (first one) is a little too generic and uninspirational, so for the background I would go for C (second one).

I also like C (the 2nd C I posted that is), though I think (if you combine it with the idea of him being on the fishing boat because he killed someone, but the story you mentioned should have a few changes to make it flow better I think.

It could be something along the lines of this:

The character is on a fishing boat because he killed a man and is trying to run away from authorities. He then falls off the ship etc, and ends up in a sort of a dream state that lasts only a couple of minutes until he dies, but in his dream it seems to be much longer. The reason for him killing someone, he always blames on his bad living conditions and such, and he claims that if circumstances were better for him, he would have done much better with his life.
This could also make for some rather interesting story, because there can be some hidden message in the whole story, of him being put to the test in some way, a test that involves him being in charge (with his mind that is) of a utopian world, to see if he can manage to make perfection works, because he blames everything bad in his life on the circumstances.
He doesn't remember anything from his life, so he starts with a blank mind, and without any grudges towards the world. He manages to live well in the beginning, but flashes from his previous life begin to shimmer through in his mind, slowly reminding him of what he's done, and thereby putting him to the test, to see if he can really blame everything on circumstances, and not just on himself.
Long story short, he ends up destroying the utopian dream world, and proving that it was after all him that destroyed his own life, thus failing the test, and he ends up drowning in the arctic sea in real life.

This can contain some psychological elements, concerning a small part religion (him being put to the test/something determining over life and death), and whether or not it is good to blame things on anything/one but yourself.

Does this sounds like it has some potential?
[QUOTE]A) he took the job out in the Arctic seas because he lost his girlfriend/wife/close family member (your average lone stranger plot)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]C) he's out there because he killed someone and is now trying to put as much distance between the incident and himself as possible (could make for some very interesting issues once things start going dystopian. this could also mean that the reader is kept guessing whether or not the character is good or evil as the memories of the event are unveiled up until the final moment)
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]C) This one I think could be the most interesting. His utopia consists of a place where the people abhor sinning. The character tries to become part of the society he always wished for. He tries to live with the people but their 'perfect' ways begin to irritate and eventually infuriate him, and his anger brings back the repressed memories of the events before the murder. Eventually he can't stand the people any more and lashes out at one, sending the whole population into a vengeful frenzy. The character must escape the town/city/village/whatever bent on destroying him while trying to remember the final events before he fired the gun. As he recollects his final memory he leaves the dream through a weird gate, either feeling good (if he is made to be a good character) or with a feeling of impending doom (if he is made to be evil).[/QUOTE]
 
I like these three ideas from soulflyV best, though A (first one) is a little too generic and uninspirational, so for the background I would go for C (second one).
 
I also like C (the 2nd C I posted that is), though I think (if you combine it with the idea of him being on the fishing boat because he killed someone, but the story you mentioned should have a few changes to make it flow better I think.
 
It could be something along the lines of this:
 
The character is on a fishing boat because he killed a man and is trying to run away from authorities. He then falls off the ship etc, and ends up in a sort of a dream state that lasts only a couple of minutes until he dies, but in his dream it seems to be much longer. The reason for him killing someone, he always blames on his bad living conditions and such, and he claims that if circumstances were better for him, he would have done much better with his life.
This could also make for some rather interesting story, because there can be some hidden message in the whole story, of him being put to the test in some way, a test that involves him being in charge (with his mind that is) of a utopian world, to see if he can manage to make perfection works, because he blames everything bad in his life on the circumstances.
He doesn't remember anything from his life, so he starts with a blank mind, and without any grudges towards the world. He manages to live well in the beginning, but flashes from his previous life begin to shimmer through in his mind, slowly reminding him of what he's done, and thereby putting him to the test, to see if he can really blame everything on circumstances, and not just on himself.
Long story short, he ends up destroying the utopian dream world, and proving that it was after all him that destroyed his own life, thus failing the test, and he ends up drowning in the arctic sea in real life.
 
This can contain some psychological elements, concerning a small part religion (him being put to the test/something determining over life and death), and whether or not it is good to blame things on anything/one but yourself.
 
Does this sounds like it has some potential?
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 7:23 PM - Quote - Report!

kumamilesbear

Sounds good. It works especially since, even dreams that seem like a few hours, usually only last about five minutes, your brain just stretches it all out. Sounds good. It works especially since, even dreams that seem like a few hours, usually only last about five minutes, your brain just stretches it all out.
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 7:30 PM - Quote - Report!

FrustratedRocka

I like the idea that he's just a guy trying to support his family - adds emotional weight to his death, humanizes him right off the bat, etc. Also, maybe have it come out in the story that he's an alcoholic who abuses his family, which gives him a repressed section of his personality in the dream world.

EDIT: We could also incorporate a lot of UltimateSlash's ideas here and provide him with a reason for slowly going crazy.
I like the idea that he's just a guy trying to support his family - adds emotional weight to his death, humanizes him right off the bat, etc. Also, maybe have it come out in the story that he's an alcoholic who abuses his family, which gives him a repressed section of his personality in the dream world.

EDIT: We could also incorporate a lot of UltimateSlash's ideas here and provide him with a reason for slowly going crazy.
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 11:11 PM - Quote - Report!

kumamilesbear

That would also take away from the pity you feel at the start, therefore forcing the listener to think more and choose how to feel about him :D That would also take away from the pity you feel at the start, therefore forcing the listener to think more and choose how to feel about him :D
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 11:12 PM - Quote - Report!

FrustratedRocka

Exactly. Exactly.
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 11:13 PM - Quote - Report!

AngusPetrucci

Epic,

So, aside from the thing i posted in the thread, i think this is going well!
im pretty much out of ideas for now, and not that we need any =)
Need a poll for ideas?
Epic, So, aside from the thing i posted in the thread, i think this is going well! im pretty much out of ideas for now, and not that we need any =) Need a poll for ideas?
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 11:58 PM - Quote - Report!

FrustratedRocka

I think we're good, Angus. Also, I got your message, and I think that we can hold off on lyrics until we've finalised the story. I told people in the thread to PM me their stuff if they've recorded instrumentals by now. My recording capabilites are this, so I may have to take a backseat here.
I think we're good, Angus. Also, I got your message, and I think that we can hold off on lyrics until we've finalised the story. I told people in the thread to PM me their stuff if they've recorded instrumentals by now. My recording capabilites are this, so I may have to take a backseat here.
Posted: Feb 19, 2010 12:07 AM - Quote - Report!

AngusPetrucci

FrustratedRocka wrote on Feb 18th, 2010 at 7:07pm :
I think we're good, Angus. Also, I got your message, and I think that we can hold off on lyrics until we've finalised the story. I told people in the thread to PM me their stuff if they've recorded instrumentals by now. My recording capabilites are [URL=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB4pb14bijc]th is[/URL], so I may take a backseat here.
I wanst talking bout lyrics in that, i know we may have to wait, but i think you could go ahead and set it up and running
[QUOTE u='FrustratedRocka' d='2010-02-18 19:07:23']I think we're good, Angus. Also, I got your message, and I think that we can hold off on lyrics until we've finalised the story. I told people in the thread to PM me their stuff if they've recorded instrumentals by now. My recording capabilites are [URL=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB4pb14bijc]this[/URL], so I may take a backseat here.[/QUOTE]I wanst talking bout lyrics in that, i know we may have to wait, but i think you could go ahead and set it up and running
Posted: Feb 19, 2010 12:46 AM - Quote - Report!

The Kush

This is turning out ridiculously awesome. This is turning out ridiculously awesome.
Posted: Feb 19, 2010 3:06 AM - Quote - Report!

AngusPetrucci

The Kush wrote on Feb 18th, 2010 at 10:06pm :
This is turning out ridiculously awesome.

This

Now that the storyboard is done (mostly)

How bout the actual occurences and thoughts?
[QUOTE u='The Kush' d='2010-02-18 22:06:16']This is turning out ridiculously awesome.[/QUOTE] This Now that the storyboard is done (mostly) How bout the actual occurences and thoughts?
Posted: Feb 19, 2010 12:07 PM - Quote - Report!

kumamilesbear

If we're using the fishing boat idea, then I have some awesome stuff for like a thunder crash to start off the album with. It's kind of like 'Raining Blood', except actual music xD
But yeah. Basically it starts off with a thunder crash, then a guitar comes in with this really cool droning bass, and from there it just expLODESSSSSS
If we're using the fishing boat idea, then I have some awesome stuff for like a thunder crash to start off the album with. It's kind of like 'Raining Blood', except actual music xD But yeah. Basically it starts off with a thunder crash, then a guitar comes in with this really cool droning bass, and from there it just expLODESSSSSS
Posted: Feb 19, 2010 3:02 PM - Quote - Report!

The Kush

kumamilesbear wrote on Feb 19th, 2010 at 10:02am :
It's kind of like 'Raining Blood', except actual music xD

Hey!

But I like the idea. We could also have some assorted boat sounds... I don't really know what to call em, but sort of like the beginning of Lord of the Storm by 3 Inches of Blood, if anyone knows what I'm talking about.

(And I'm not saying I want to write anything reminiscent of Slayer for this project, but I still do like Slayer. Just not enough to write like that.)
[QUOTE u='kumamilesbear' d='2010-02-19 10:02:14']It's kind of like 'Raining Blood', except actual music xD[/QUOTE]
Hey! 

But I like the idea.  We could also have some assorted boat sounds...  I don't really know what to call em, but sort of like the beginning of Lord of the Storm by 3 Inches of Blood, if anyone knows what I'm talking about.

(And I'm not saying I want to write anything reminiscent of Slayer for this project, but I still do like Slayer.  Just not enough to write like that.)
Posted: Feb 19, 2010 3:07 PM - Quote - Report!

kumamilesbear

The Kush wrote on Feb 19th, 2010 at 10:07am :
kumamilesbear wrote on Feb 19th, 2010 at 10:02am :
It's kind of like 'Raining Blood', except actual music xD


Hey!


I'm sorry to have offended you. I accept that other people like Slayer, but I just can't stand them. I think it may have to do mainly with my live experience with them (saw them at Mayhem, was really there to see everybody else). Everything from the stage was blasting at my ears, the bass drum was punching me in the gut, and the lead parts were very screechy and painful for me. Sorry if I offended you.
[QUOTE u='The Kush' d='2010-02-19 10:07:52'][QUOTE u='kumamilesbear' d='2010-02-19 10:02:14']It's kind of like 'Raining Blood', except actual music xD[/QUOTE]

Hey! [/QUOTE]

I'm sorry to have offended you. I accept that other people like Slayer, but I just can't stand them. I think it may have to do mainly with my live experience with them (saw them at Mayhem, was really there to see everybody else). Everything from the stage was blasting at my ears, the bass drum was punching me in the gut, and the lead parts were very screechy and painful for me. Sorry if I offended you.
Posted: Feb 19, 2010 3:13 PM - Quote - Report!

The Kush

^Lol no, I know it's all in good fun. I totally understand when other people dislike really heavy bands like Slayer. It's when people say that really musically talented bands like Dream Theater are crap that I really get pissed. ^Lol no, I know it's all in good fun. I totally understand when other people dislike really heavy bands like Slayer. It's when people say that really musically talented bands like Dream Theater are crap that I really get pissed.
Posted: Feb 19, 2010 3:33 PM - Quote - Report!

FrustratedRocka

OK, the way I see the story going is:
ACT 1:
Song 1: Overture/Overboard (Intro to the album, possibly instrumental, possibly explaining the basics of the situation, possibly ending with "Tell my wife -" and cutting off. It may also be a good idea to mention that he's a prisoner of bad circumstances)
Song 2: Wakes up in Utopia with no memory (or with memory? This might be interesting - wondering if he's dead or not etc.
Song 3: Learns more about the situation he's in
Song 4: Falls in love with a girl
Song 5: Has sex with girl and falls asleep
Song 6: Falls asleep in dream/briefly wakes up in real life (This is probably where we'd show that he's out there to support his family, while also mentioning circumstances again) and passes out again.

ACT 2
Song 7: Wakes up in dream world again with no memory of waking up IRL (maybe notices that the world has changed a bit - a bit grungier, the sky a bit less blue, etc.)
Song 8: Witnesses a mugging
Song 9: Immediately after the robbery takes place, civilians on the street try, convict, and execute the mugger (this is where he learns about the extremely strict code of conduct in "paradise")
Song 10: In shock, he wanders into a bar and starts drinking (this can be a fairly short song, but it needs to show his overt rejection of the requirements of living in a utopian society)
Song 11: He comes home to his (still imaginary) girlfriend drunk. When she chastizes him, he goes ballistic and attacks her. This is where we would probably do a flashback to his real life and real wife and reveal that he used to do the same thing to her. If we end up going with this version of the story, I call dibs on this one.
Song 12: He wakes up IRL again and wonders how everything could go so wrong even in his "perfect" world, still refusing to acknowledge his own behavior before passing out (again)

ACT 3
Song 13: He wakes up in the dream world. The illusion of perfection is gone and his house is now a prison, with his girlfriend as the jailer.
Song 14: He escapes prison
Song 15: He is hunted down by the population of the dream world. (I think it would be cool if the population at this point was composed of people he knew in real life who he'd harmed, but that's just me)
Song 16: Captured again
Song 17: Put on trial for his crimes, each of them being shown to be his fault.
Song 18: He is executed in the dream world and wakes up IRL
Song 19: He dies in the real world, with his last words an apology to his wife.

This is just an idea, but I think it may work well.
OK, the way I see the story going is: ACT 1: Song 1: Overture/Overboard (Intro to the album, possibly instrumental, possibly explaining the basics of the situation, possibly ending with "Tell my wife -" and cutting off. It may also be a good idea to mention that he's a prisoner of bad circumstances) Song 2: Wakes up in Utopia with no memory (or with memory? This might be interesting - wondering if he's dead or not etc. Song 3: Learns more about the situation he's in Song 4: Falls in love with a girl Song 5: Has sex with girl and falls asleep Song 6: Falls asleep in dream/briefly wakes up in real life (This is probably where we'd show that he's out there to support his family, while also mentioning circumstances again) and passes out again. ACT 2 Song 7: Wakes up in dream world again with no memory of waking up IRL (maybe notices that the world has changed a bit - a bit grungier, the sky a bit less blue, etc.) Song 8: Witnesses a mugging Song 9: Immediately after the robbery takes place, civilians on the street try, convict, and execute the mugger (this is where he learns about the extremely strict code of conduct in "paradise") Song 10: In shock, he wanders into a bar and starts drinking (this can be a fairly short song, but it needs to show his overt rejection of the requirements of living in a utopian society) Song 11: He comes home to his (still imaginary) girlfriend drunk. When she chastizes him, he goes ballistic and attacks her. This is where we would probably do a flashback to his real life and real wife and reveal that he used to do the same thing to her. If we end up going with this version of the story, I call dibs on this one. Song 12: He wakes up IRL again and wonders how everything could go so wrong even in his "perfect" world, still refusing to acknowledge his own behavior before passing out (again) ACT 3 Song 13: He wakes up in the dream world. The illusion of perfection is gone and his house is now a prison, with his girlfriend as the jailer. Song 14: He escapes prison Song 15: He is hunted down by the population of the dream world. (I think it would be cool if the population at this point was composed of people he knew in real life who he'd harmed, but that's just me) Song 16: Captured again Song 17: Put on trial for his crimes, each of them being shown to be his fault. Song 18: He is executed in the dream world and wakes up IRL Song 19: He dies in the real world, with his last words an apology to his wife. This is just an idea, but I think it may work well.
Posted: Feb 19, 2010 6:57 PM - Quote - Report!

ultimate-slash

So... Fucking... Awesome... I myself wouldn't change a thing about the set up you made, except for a few things to fill up the story off course, but besides that it sounds perfect to me. I was thinking that it would be cool to have the intro/overture as an instrumental, with sounds of fishing boats and the ocean and such every now and then, some spoken stuff about people yelling that someone has fallen overboard and such and just stuff like that, and have a song that really resembles a storm for that matter. Those are just my 2 cents for the moment, trying to think up little details and stuff at the moment.

EDIT: I also think we should make a list of people and what tasks they are willing to perform (writing, recording guitars/vocals/drums etc, mixing, you name it) and divide them in little groups, so starting the actual album becomes easier.
So... Fucking... Awesome... I myself wouldn't change a thing about the set up you made, except for a few things to fill up the story off course, but besides that it sounds perfect to me. I was thinking that it would be cool to have the intro/overture as an instrumental, with sounds of fishing boats and the ocean and such every now and then, some spoken stuff about people yelling that someone has fallen overboard and such and just stuff like that, and have a song that really resembles a storm for that matter. Those are just my 2 cents for the moment, trying to think up little details and stuff at the moment.
 
EDIT: I also think we should make a list of people and what tasks they are willing to perform (writing, recording guitars/vocals/drums etc, mixing, you name it) and divide them in little groups, so starting the actual album becomes easier.
Posted: Feb 19, 2010 7:19 PM - Quote - Report!

AngusPetrucci

Friggin beast, now for the fun part!

Kuma, you still up for vox?

And the solemn piano intrumental is coming along nicely
Friggin beast, now for the fun part! Kuma, you still up for vox? And the solemn piano intrumental is coming along nicely
Posted: Feb 19, 2010 8:37 PM - Quote - Report!

kumamilesbear

FrusteratedRocka, you never cease to amaze me.

AngusPetrucci, I am absolutely up for vocals.

ultimate-slash: My list is as follows:
Willing to play guitar, bass, keys, drum programming (can later be replaced by a real kit if need be), scream vocals, and spoken word stuff.
Willing to write music.
FrusteratedRocka, you never cease to amaze me. AngusPetrucci, I am absolutely up for vocals. ultimate-slash: My list is as follows: Willing to play guitar, bass, keys, drum programming (can later be replaced by a real kit if need be), scream vocals, and spoken word stuff. Willing to write music.
Posted: Feb 20, 2010 2:00 AM - Quote - Report!

SlayingDragons

Man, this story is basically set. I don't think I can add anything to it, but I'm kinda brain dead at the moment, so if I think of anything later, I'll throw it in there.

I definitely can do some guitar parts, I can write the parts, or if someone gives me the part they want me to do in tabs, I can handle anything up to an intermediate++- advanced level, guesstimating.

I'm using m-audio session, and I can get pretty good quality sound with my setup if I mess around with it enough.

Since I can really only do guitar, that means I'm up for collaboration with anyone who can do drums and vocals.

I would do some vocals, but I don't have a good mic...

We should make a writing/recording thread for this now.
Man, this story is basically set. I don't think I can add anything to it, but I'm kinda brain dead at the moment, so if I think of anything later, I'll throw it in there.

I definitely can do some guitar parts, I can write the parts, or if someone gives me the part they want me to do in tabs, I can handle anything up to an intermediate++- advanced level, guesstimating.

I'm using m-audio session, and I can get pretty good quality sound with my setup if I mess around with it enough.

Since I can really only do guitar, that means I'm up for collaboration with anyone who can do drums and vocals.

I would do some vocals, but I don't have a good mic...

We should make a writing/recording thread for this now.
Posted: Feb 20, 2010 2:08 AM - Quote - Report!

kumamilesbear

^Done ^Done
Posted: Feb 20, 2010 2:18 AM - Quote - Report!

FrustratedRocka

Can we just put the writing/recording in the thread that already exists? Can we just put the writing/recording in the thread that already exists?
Posted: Feb 20, 2010 2:51 AM - Quote - Report!

Kensai

What happened to soulflyv's idea...? You guys are just moving way too fast...

Check with everyone if they like the idea before you guys start recording and writing lyrics. I know you're all anxious to get started but taking a day atleast to check with everyone isn't much.
What happened to soulflyv's idea...? You guys are just moving way too fast...

Check with everyone if they like the idea before you guys start recording and writing lyrics. I know you're all anxious to get started but taking a day atleast to check with everyone isn't much.
Posted: Feb 20, 2010 3:27 AM - Quote - Report!

FrustratedRocka

Good point. I am suitably chastized. Good point. I am suitably chastized.
Posted: Feb 20, 2010 3:47 AM - Quote - Report!

The Kush

I'm willing to do some vocals for anybody who wants me to. I just put up a really rough vocal cover of a Helloween song in my profile, for anyone who's interested. If I end up recording vocals for this though, I'll take more time, I threw that together in like an hour.

And that setup is awesome.
I'm willing to do some vocals for anybody who wants me to. I just put up a really rough vocal cover of a Helloween song in my profile, for anyone who's interested. If I end up recording vocals for this though, I'll take more time, I threw that together in like an hour. And that setup is awesome.
Posted: Feb 20, 2010 3:52 AM - Quote - Report!

SlayingDragons

Kensai wrote on Feb 19th, 2010 at 10:27pm :
What happened to soulflyv's idea...? You guys are just moving way too fast...

Check with everyone if they like the idea before you guys start recording and writing lyrics. I know you're all anxious to get started but taking a day atleast to check with everyone isn't much.


Yeah, you're right... Just kinda excited to get started on this.
[QUOTE u='Kensai' d='2010-02-19 22:27:07']What happened to soulflyv's idea...? You guys are just moving way too fast...

Check with everyone if they like the idea before you guys start recording and writing lyrics. I know you're all anxious to get started but taking a day atleast to check with everyone isn't much.
[/QUOTE]

Yeah, you're right... Just kinda excited to get started on this.
Posted: Feb 20, 2010 4:18 AM - Quote - Report!

The Kush

Also, we need a name for this. Also, we need a name for this.
Posted: Feb 20, 2010 4:54 AM - Quote - Report!

ultimate-slash

Maybe it would be better to wait with a final name until the actual songs are finished (at least I always find it easier to pick a suitable name afterwards). Until then we could just come up with a working title though, (also for the songs once we start working on them) and change everything into final names at the end. Maybe it would be better to wait with a final name until the actual songs are finished (at least I always find it easier to pick a suitable name afterwards). Until then we could just come up with a working title though, (also for the songs once we start working on them) and change everything into final names at the end.
Posted: Feb 20, 2010 11:21 AM - Quote - Report!

AngusPetrucci

ultimate-slash wrote on Feb 20th, 2010 at 6:21am :
Maybe it would be better to wait with a final name until the actual songs are finished (at least I always find it easier to pick a suitable name afterwards). Until then we could just come up with a working title though, (also for the songs once we start working on them) and change everything into final names at the end.
Puppies on acid

Anyway, i think that setup is awesome, sans a few parts, but im only one person, and i love it anyway
[QUOTE u='ultimate-slash' d='2010-02-20 06:21:01']Maybe it would be better to wait with a final name until the actual songs are finished (at least I always find it easier to pick a suitable name afterwards). Until then we could just come up with a working title though, (also for the songs once we start working on them) and change everything into final names at the end.[/QUOTE]Puppies on acid Anyway, i think that setup is awesome, sans a few parts, but im only one person, and i love it anyway
Posted: Feb 20, 2010 2:57 PM - Quote - Report!

classicrockboy

I was thinking for the first song where it kind of explains his situation (by the way, what exactly is his situation?) have some sort of synth instrumental with little clipits of "old-timey" recordings of voices saying things to explain his situation. I was thinking for the first song where it kind of explains his situation (by the way, what exactly [i]is[/i] his situation?) have some sort of synth instrumental with little clipits of "old-timey" recordings of voices saying things to explain his situation.
Posted: Feb 20, 2010 8:21 PM - Quote - Report!

FrustratedRocka

The situation is that he's on a boat in the middle of the arctic that gets caught in a storm, during which he gets knocked overboard and passes out. The situation is that he's on a boat in the middle of the arctic that gets caught in a storm, during which he gets knocked overboard and passes out.
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 5:06 AM - Quote - Report!

classicrockboy

Ok, so let me get this straight:
1. On a boat (motherfucker!) in the middle of the arctic
2. Caught in storm
3. Knocked overboard and passes out
4. In a coma in the hospital?
Ok, so let me get this straight: 1. On a boat (motherfucker!) in the middle of the arctic 2. Caught in storm 3. Knocked overboard and passes out 4. In a coma in the hospital?
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 5:24 AM - Quote - Report!

Kensai

^ I think 4th one should be skipped in favour of him dying. ^ I think 4th one should be skipped in favour of him dying.
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 11:24 AM - Quote - Report!

soulflyV

Kensai wrote on Feb 19th, 2010 at 10:27pm :
What happened to soulflyv's idea...? You guys are just moving way too fast...

Check with everyone if they like the idea before you guys start recording and writing lyrics. I know you're all anxious to get started but taking a day atleast to check with everyone isn't much.
Yeah I'm not sure what happened to my idea, but everyone else looks set on the chain of events FrustratedRocka has set up so I'm not going to interfere.

I had envisioned more of a surreal utopia rather than a sort of mirror reality where he finds love and whatnot, where the citizens end up hunting him down instead of putting him on trial but I'm cool with what has been laid down already.

classicrockboy wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 12:24am :
Ok, so let me get this straight: 1. On a boat (motherfucker!) in the middle of the arctic 2. Caught in storm 3. Knocked overboard and passes out 4. In a coma in the hospital?
You guys sure do love your comas. :p:

Anyway, my plot was that the whole 'dream' part of the story occurred within the character's unconscious mind in the minutes it took for him to freeze to death/drown in the sea. The main reason I decided to put him in that scenario was because the brain can compress long-ass mo'fuggin dreams into the space of a couple of minutes, as kumamilesbear pointed out earlier.

The other advantage of him dying is that it sets itself apart from most other stories with the predictable 'happy'/favourable ending. The death (or should I say the process of his death) is also what triggers the utopia turning into a dystopia, the scenario chosen by the people in the original thread/poll.

Plus, you fall out of a boat in rough Arctic waters at night and fall unconscious and you're pretty much fucked anyway. Adds some realism to the story.
[QUOTE u='Kensai' d='2010-02-19 22:27:07']What happened to soulflyv's idea...? You guys are just moving way too fast...

Check with everyone if they like the idea before you guys start recording and writing lyrics. I know you're all anxious to get started but taking a day atleast to check with everyone isn't much.
[/QUOTE] Yeah I'm not sure what happened to my idea, but everyone else looks set on the chain of events FrustratedRocka has set up so I'm not going to interfere.

I had envisioned more of a surreal utopia rather than a sort of mirror reality where he finds love and whatnot, where the citizens end up hunting him down instead of putting him on trial but I'm cool with what has been laid down already.

[QUOTE u='classicrockboy' d='2010-02-21 00:24:26']Ok, so let me get this straight: 1. On a boat (motherfucker!) in the middle of the arctic 2. Caught in storm 3. Knocked overboard and passes out 4. In a coma in the hospital?[/QUOTE] You guys sure do love your comas. :p:

Anyway, my plot was that the whole 'dream' part of the story occurred within the character's unconscious mind in the minutes it took for him to freeze to death/drown in the sea. The main reason I decided to put him in that scenario was because the brain can compress long-ass mo'fuggin dreams into the space of a couple of minutes, as kumamilesbear pointed out earlier.

The other advantage of him dying is that it sets itself apart from most other stories with the predictable 'happy'/favourable ending. The death (or should I say the process of his death) is also what triggers the utopia turning into a dystopia, the scenario chosen by the people in the original thread/poll.

Plus, you fall out of a boat in rough Arctic waters at night and fall unconscious and you're pretty much fucked anyway. Adds some realism to the story.
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 12:48 PM - Quote - Report!

classicrockboy

Ok that makes more sense. :D

Btw, I came up with song 10 in Act II. Music and lyrics.
Ok that makes more sense. :D Btw, I came up with song 10 in Act II. Music and lyrics.
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 1:56 PM - Quote - Report!

Kensai

soulflyV wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 8:49am :

Yeah I'm not sure what happened to my idea, but everyone else looks set on the chain of events FrustratedRocka has set up so I'm not going to interfere.

I had envisioned more of a surreal utopia rather than a sort of mirror reality where he finds love and whatnot, where the citizens end up hunting him down instead of putting him on trial but I'm cool with what has been laid down already.


I prefer your idea though. I don't feel very strongly for some generic real-life situations that would happen in a surrealistic setting. It doesn't quite stand out I feel.
[QUOTE u='soulflyV' d='2010-02-21 08:49:06'] Yeah I'm not sure what happened to my idea, but everyone else looks set on the chain of events FrustratedRocka has set up so I'm not going to interfere. I had envisioned more of a surreal utopia rather than a sort of mirror reality where he finds love and whatnot, where the citizens end up hunting him down instead of putting him on trial but I'm cool with what has been laid down already.[/QUOTE] I prefer your idea though. I don't feel very strongly for some generic real-life situations that would happen in a surrealistic setting. It doesn't quite stand out I feel.
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 1:57 PM - Quote - Report!

soulflyV

Kensai wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 8:57am :

I prefer your idea though. I don't feel very strongly for some generic real-life situations that would happen in a surrealistic setting. It doesn't quite stand out I feel.


Yeah, I think we're on the same level here. I was looking to make this story one that sets itself apart from everything else, which is something that requires meticulous planning. I mean, if it's going to have our community's name attached to it, it should be something that we can admire and happily claim that we were a part of it.

No matter how good the music is, if the story is a rush job it's going to follow in the wake of pretty much every other concept album/rock opera. And the story/lyrics are where most albums are criticised, I've found. The only rock opera that I've been able to appreciate for its music AND story is the Ayreon series. That's where I've drawn most of my storyline inspiration from.

The thing that makes it interesting (IMO) is the fact that in every album there is a plot within a plot. Into the Electric Castle seems to do this amazingly well, most likely because it doesn't reveal what is happening outside of the 'main' plot until the end of the album.

By the way, have you got any ideas story-wise?

classicrockboy wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 8:56am :
Ok that makes more sense. :D

Btw, I came up with song 10 in Act II. Music and lyrics.


Interesting. Care to share them?
[QUOTE u='Kensai' d='2010-02-21 08:57:55'] I prefer your idea though. I don't feel very strongly for some generic real-life situations that would happen in a surrealistic setting. It doesn't quite stand out I feel.[/QUOTE] Yeah, I think we're on the same level here. I was looking to make this story one that sets itself apart from everything else, which is something that requires meticulous planning. I mean, if it's going to have our community's name attached to it, it should be something that we can admire and happily claim that we were a part of it. No matter how good the music is, if the story is a rush job it's going to follow in the wake of pretty much every other concept album/rock opera. And the story/lyrics are where most albums are criticised, I've found. The only rock opera that I've been able to appreciate for its music AND story is the Ayreon series. That's where I've drawn most of my storyline inspiration from. The thing that makes it interesting (IMO) is the fact that in every album there is a plot within a plot. Into the Electric Castle seems to do this amazingly well, most likely because it doesn't reveal what is happening outside of the 'main' plot until the end of the album. By the way, have you got any ideas story-wise? [QUOTE u='classicrockboy' d='2010-02-21 08:56:22']Ok that makes more sense. :D Btw, I came up with song 10 in Act II. Music and lyrics.[/QUOTE] Interesting. Care to share them?
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 2:30 PM - Quote - Report!

FrustratedRocka

soulflyV wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 7:48am :

Yeah I'm not sure what happened to my idea, but everyone else looks set
on the chain of events FrustratedRocka has set up so I'm not going to
interfere.


I had envisioned more of a surreal utopia rather than a sort of mirror
reality where he finds love and whatnot, where the citizens end up
hunting him down instead of putting him on trial but I'm cool with what
has been laid down already.

classicrockboy wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 12:24am :
Ok, so let me get this straight:
1. On a boat (motherfucker!) in the middle of the arctic
2. Caught in storm
3. Knocked overboard and passes out
4. In a coma in the hospital?


You guys sure do love your comas. :p:



Anyway, my plot was that the whole 'dream' part of the story occurred within the character's unconscious mind in the minutes it took for him to freeze to death/drown in the sea. The main reason I decided to put him in that scenario was because the brain can compress long-ass mo'fuggin dreams into the space of a couple of minutes, as kumamilesbear pointed out earlier.


The other advantage of him dying is that it sets itself apart from most other stories with the predictable 'happy'/favourable ending. The death (or should I say the process of his death) is also what triggers the utopia turning into a dystopia, the scenario chosen by the people in the original thread/poll.


Plus, you fall out of a boat in rough Arctic waters at night and fall unconscious and you're pretty much fucked anyway. Adds some realism to the story.


Sorry about that - what I did with the tracklisting (which I don't consider definitive at all by the way) was try to incorporate a lot of your ideas, including the whole boat setting, the dream turning into a nightmare as he gets closer to death, him being hunted down towards the end, etc. I also tried to put in your supporting his family and world where people abhor sinning ideas. At the same time, I want this to be a collaborative project, so I tried to mix in some other people's ideas, mostly Ultimate-Slash's idea about blaming his problems on circumstances and my idea about him being abusive towards his wife. About 80 percent of your ideas are still there.
[QUOTE u='soulflyV' d='2010-02-21 07:48:32'] Yeah I'm not sure what happened to my idea, but everyone else looks set on the chain of events FrustratedRocka has set up so I'm not going to interfere.

I had envisioned more of a surreal utopia rather than a sort of mirror reality where he finds love and whatnot, where the citizens end up hunting him down instead of putting him on trial but I'm cool with what has been laid down already.

[QUOTE u='classicrockboy' d='2010-02-21 00:24:26']Ok, so let me get this straight: 1. On a boat (motherfucker!) in the middle of the arctic 2. Caught in storm 3. Knocked overboard and passes out 4. In a coma in the hospital?[/QUOTE] You guys sure do love your comas. :p:

Anyway, my plot was that the whole 'dream' part of the story occurred within the character's unconscious mind in the minutes it took for him to freeze to death/drown in the sea. The main reason I decided to put him in that scenario was because the brain can compress long-ass mo'fuggin dreams into the space of a couple of minutes, as kumamilesbear pointed out earlier.

The other advantage of him dying is that it sets itself apart from most other stories with the predictable 'happy'/favourable ending. The death (or should I say the process of his death) is also what triggers the utopia turning into a dystopia, the scenario chosen by the people in the original thread/poll.

Plus, you fall out of a boat in rough Arctic waters at night and fall unconscious and you're pretty much fucked anyway. Adds some realism to the story.[/QUOTE] Sorry about that - what I did with the tracklisting (which I don't consider definitive at all by the way) was try to incorporate a lot of your ideas, including the whole boat setting, the dream turning into a nightmare as he gets closer to death, him being hunted down towards the end, etc. I also tried to put in your supporting his family and world where people abhor sinning ideas. At the same time, I want this to be a collaborative project, so I tried to mix in some other people's ideas, mostly Ultimate-Slash's idea about blaming his problems on circumstances and my idea about him being abusive towards his wife. About 80 percent of your ideas are still there.
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 2:30 PM - Quote - Report!

Kensai

soulflyV wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 9:30am :
Yeah, I think we're on the same level here. I was looking to make this story one that sets itself apart from everything else, which is something that requires meticulous planning. I mean, if it's going to have our community's name attached to it, it should be something that we can admire and happily claim that we were a part of it.

No matter how good the music is, if the story is a rush job it's going to follow in the wake of pretty much every other concept album/rock opera. And the story/lyrics are where most albums are criticised, I've found. The only rock opera that I've been able to appreciate for its music AND story is the Ayreon series. That's where I've drawn most of my storyline inspiration from.

The thing that makes it interesting (IMO) is the fact that in every album there is a plot within a plot. Into the Electric Castle seems to do this amazingly well, most likely because it doesn't reveal what is happening outside of the 'main' plot until the end of the album.

By the way, have you got any ideas story-wise?


Aye, I think so too. This is something we can do very well, we have everything that we need; instruments, talent, time, experience and skill so why not take the time to make this epic? That starts with having a good script, which takes time, but it's time well invested.

I have a few ideas, but they're more specific to each movement. I think we should agree on the general plot first, then split it up into movements, then work on each movement.

I have to listen to the Ayreon series I feel.
[QUOTE u='soulflyV' d='2010-02-21 09:30:24']Yeah, I think we're on the same level here. I was looking to make this story one that sets itself apart from everything else, which is something that requires meticulous planning. I mean, if it's going to have our community's name attached to it, it should be something that we can admire and happily claim that we were a part of it.

No matter how good the music is, if the story is a rush job it's going to follow in the wake of pretty much every other concept album/rock opera. And the story/lyrics are where most albums are criticised, I've found. The only rock opera that I've been able to appreciate for its music AND story is the Ayreon series. That's where I've drawn most of my storyline inspiration from.

The thing that makes it interesting (IMO) is the fact that in every album there is a plot within a plot. Into the Electric Castle seems to do this amazingly well, most likely because it doesn't reveal what is happening outside of the 'main' plot until the end of the album.

By the way, have you got any ideas story-wise?[/QUOTE]

Aye, I think so too. This is something we can do very well, we have everything that we need; instruments, talent, time, experience and skill so why not take the time to make this epic? That starts with having a good script, which takes time, but it's time well invested.

I have a few ideas, but they're more specific to each movement. I think we should agree on the general plot first, then split it up into movements, then work on each movement.

I have to listen to the Ayreon series I feel.
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 2:48 PM - Quote - Report!

soulflyV

FrustratedRocka wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 9:30am :


Sorry about that - what I did with the tracklisting (which I don't consider definitive at all by the way) was try to incorporate a lot of your ideas, including the whole boat setting, the dream turning into a nightmare as he gets closer to death, him being hunted down towards the end, etc. I also tried to put in your supporting his family and world where people abhor sinning ideas. At the same time, I want this to be a collaborative project, so I tried to mix in some other people's ideas, mostly Ultimate-Slash's idea about blaming his problems on circumstances and my idea about him being abusive towards his wife. About 80 percent of your ideas are still there.


That's ok. It's funny, I think most of us here are a little too excited about writing the music. As soon as one idea is suggested, everyone drops what they were thinking and latches onto the new idea as THE storyline. :haha:

Anyway, the actual story part of the album is still a long way from done. I think we're forgetting that this is a Rock Opera. Yes, the music is a big part of this, but so is the STORY. A rock opera tells a story through music. It's not going to be much of a project if there's basically nothing to tell through the music.


Anyway, before we set out the acts and scenes and everything, a decent story has to be written. This is only going to happen through massive collaboration between us all. Someone - or a couple of us- is/are going to have to go and write out the story, draft it, send it to everyone else, compare it, find plotholes, change actions, change scenes, etc.. However, the story is going to have to be more detailed than the plot I posted in the original thread, or the whole thing is going to fall flat on it's face. We're going to have to build this character from the ground up, along with any other characters and places within the story.

I will gladly take on the task of writing a detailed plot for the story, combining all or most of the elements we've suggested throughout this thread (although I'll still take criticism and comments about it from the rest of you and change it whichever way we feel necessary). It would be even better for us if a couple more people wrote their own plots as well as long as they combine most of our ideas. After that's been done we can easily start a voting thread within the group as to which plot we select.

From there the workload will start to lessen, as all we need then is to work with the character, maybe add some set lines of dialogue and then the lyrics will fill in the smaller details of the plot while still covering the main story.

BUT: THIS IS GOING TO TAKE TIME. HALF OF US CANNOT BE FOCUSED ON WRITING MUSIC WHILE HALF OF US WRITE THE STORY. A GROUP DIVIDED WILL NOT STAND; WE NEED OUR COLLECTIVE EFFORTS FOCUSED ON ONE SECTION OF THIS PROJECT AT A TIME.
[QUOTE u='FrustratedRocka' d='2010-02-21 09:30:56'] Sorry about that - what I did with the tracklisting (which I don't consider definitive at all by the way) was try to incorporate a lot of your ideas, including the whole boat setting, the dream turning into a nightmare as he gets closer to death, him being hunted down towards the end, etc. I also tried to put in your supporting his family and world where people abhor sinning ideas. At the same time, I want this to be a collaborative project, so I tried to mix in some other people's ideas, mostly Ultimate-Slash's idea about blaming his problems on circumstances and my idea about him being abusive towards his wife. About 80 percent of your ideas are still there.[/QUOTE] That's ok. It's funny, I think most of us here are a little too excited about writing the music. As soon as one idea is suggested, everyone drops what they were thinking and latches onto the new idea as THE storyline. :haha: Anyway, the actual story part of the album is still a long way from done. I think we're forgetting that this is a Rock [b]Opera[/b]. Yes, the music is a big part of this, but so is the STORY. A rock opera tells a[i] story[/i] through [i]music[/i]. It's not going to be much of a project if there's basically nothing to tell through the music. Anyway, before we set out the acts and scenes and everything, a decent story has to be written. This is only going to happen through massive collaboration between us all. Someone - or a couple of us- is/are going to have to go and write out the story, draft it, send it to everyone else, compare it, find plotholes, change actions, change scenes, etc.. However, the story is going to have to be more detailed than the plot I posted in the original thread, or the whole thing is going to fall flat on it's face. We're going to have to build this character from the ground up, along with any other characters and places within the story. I will gladly take on the task of writing a detailed plot for the story, combining all or most of the elements we've suggested throughout this thread (although I'll still take criticism and comments about it from the rest of you and change it whichever way we feel necessary). It would be even better for us if a couple more people wrote their own plots as well as long as they combine most of our ideas. After that's been done we can easily start a voting thread within the group as to which plot we select. From there the workload will start to lessen, as all we need then is to work with the character, maybe add some set lines of dialogue and then the lyrics will fill in the smaller details of the plot while still covering the main story. BUT: THIS IS GOING TO TAKE TIME. HALF OF US CANNOT BE FOCUSED ON WRITING MUSIC WHILE HALF OF US WRITE THE STORY. A GROUP DIVIDED WILL NOT STAND; WE NEED OUR COLLECTIVE EFFORTS FOCUSED ON ONE SECTION OF THIS PROJECT AT A TIME.
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 3:14 PM - Quote - Report!

soulflyV

Kensai wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 9:48am :
Aye, I think so too. This is something we can do very well, we have everything that we need; instruments, talent, time, experience and skill so why not take the time to make this epic? That starts with having a good script, which takes time, but it's time well invested.

I have a few ideas, but they're more specific to each movement. I think we should agree on the general plot first, then split it up into movements, then work on each movement.

I have to listen to the Ayreon series I feel.


Ah ok. I'm looking forward to hearing what you've got planned.

And most certainly, yes. You would not be doing yourself a disservice.

I'm not sure what you would listen to first, but if it helps, the events of Into the Electric Castle, and the Human Equation occur around the middle of 01011001, while the two Universal Migrator discs' events occur at the end of 01011001 and are referenced in the Sixth Extinction (song). The wikipedia entries for all these give you a good idea of the story anyway.



And FrustratedRocka, I think the main reason your listing was/is seen as definitive is because you've got it posted on the front page of the group. :p:
[QUOTE u='Kensai' d='2010-02-21 09:48:54']Aye, I think so too. This is something we can do very well, we have everything that we need; instruments, talent, time, experience and skill so why not take the time to make this epic? That starts with having a good script, which takes time, but it's time well invested. I have a few ideas, but they're more specific to each movement. I think we should agree on the general plot first, then split it up into movements, then work on each movement. I have to listen to the Ayreon series I feel.[/QUOTE] Ah ok. I'm looking forward to hearing what you've got planned. And most certainly, yes. You would not be doing yourself a disservice. I'm not sure what you would listen to first, but if it helps, the events of Into the Electric Castle, and the Human Equation occur around the middle of 01011001, while the two Universal Migrator discs' events occur at the end of 01011001 and are referenced in the Sixth Extinction (song). The wikipedia entries for all these give you a good idea of the story anyway. And FrustratedRocka, I think the main reason your listing was/is seen as definitive is because you've got it posted on the front page of the group. :p:
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 3:25 PM - Quote - Report!

ultimate-slash

soulflyV wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 10:14am :
We're going to have to build this character from the ground up, along with any other characters and places within the story.


This I feel is one of the most important aspects of the story, since pretty much the entire story is based on the main character, and not so much on the events. We really need to give this person a true identity as in name, appearance, personality, where he's from, what he did in real life, what his family was like and even stuff like his childhood, he really needs to be a person who has lived for 30/40/50 years (I don't know how old he will be) and has to have a life that explains his actions.

I will gladly take on the task of writing a detailed plot for the story, combining all or most of the elements we've suggested throughout this thread (although I'll still take criticism and comments about it from the rest of you and change it whichever way we feel necessary). It would be even better for us if a couple more people wrote their own plots as well as long as they combine most of our ideas.


I agree with this, we need multiple plots, so any flaws that may have gone unnoticed in one plot, can be solved by incorporating elements from another plot. Though establishing the personalities for the characters has to be done first I think. Maybe it would be best if we get a few people to start on that? Just brainstorm about who the characters really are. If we have that, it will be a lot easier to write an actual plot. I'm willing to work on details for the main character, is there anyone who wants to help?

It would be best maybe to use some form of chat to do these kinds of things, so you won't have to post in this group constantly. This way what gets posted in these groups looks a little bit more organised, and people won't miss things while reading.

EDIT:

If we manage to put enough time and effort into this, we are gonna kick some serieus rock opera-ass, as well as kicking all other UG-albums' asses.
[QUOTE u='soulflyV' d='2010-02-21 10:14:25']We're going to have to build this character from the ground up, along with any other characters and places within the story.[/QUOTE]
 
This I feel is one of the most important aspects of the story, since pretty much the entire story is based on the main character, and not so much on the events. We really need to give this person a true identity as in name, appearance, personality, where he's from, what he did in real life, what his family was like and even stuff like his childhood, he really needs to be a person who has lived for 30/40/50 years (I don't know how old he will be) and has to have a life that explains his actions.
 
[QUOTE]I will gladly take on the task of writing a detailed plot for the story, combining all or most of the elements we've suggested throughout this thread (although I'll still take criticism and comments about it from the rest of you and change it whichever way we feel necessary). It would be even better for us if a couple more people wrote their own plots as well as long as they combine most of our ideas.[/QUOTE]
 
I agree with this, we need multiple plots, so any flaws that may have gone unnoticed in one plot, can be solved by incorporating elements from another plot. Though establishing the personalities for the characters has to be done first I think. Maybe it would be best if we get a few people to start on that? Just brainstorm about who the characters really are. If we have that, it will be a lot easier to write an actual plot. I'm willing to work on details for the main  character, is there anyone who wants to help?
 
It would be best maybe to use some form of chat to do these kinds of things, so you won't have to post in this group constantly. This way what gets posted in these groups looks a little bit more organised, and people won't miss things while reading. 
 
EDIT:
 
If we manage to put enough time and effort into this, we are gonna kick some serieus rock opera-ass, as well as kicking all other UG-albums' asses.
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 4:32 PM - Quote - Report!

soulflyV

ultimate-slash wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 11:32am :


This I feel is one of the most important aspects of the story, since pretty much the entire story is based on the main character, and not so much on the events. We really need to give this person a true identity as in name, appearance, personality, where he's from, what he did in real life, what his family was like and even stuff like his childhood, he really needs to be a person who has lived for 30/40/50 years (I don't know how old he will be) and has to have a life that explains his actions.


I agree with this, we need multiple plots, so any flaws that may have gone unnoticed in one plot, can be solved by incorporating elements from another plot. Though establishing the personalities for the characters has to be done first I think. Maybe it would be best if we get a few people to start on that? Just brainstorm about who the characters really are. If we have that, it will be a lot easier to write an actual plot. I'm willing to work on details for the main character, is there anyone who wants to help?

It would be best maybe to use some form of chat to do these kinds of things, so you won't have to post in this group constantly. This way what gets posted in these groups looks a little bit more organised, and people won't miss things while reading.

EDIT:



If we manage to put enough time and effort into this, we are gonna kick some serieus rock opera-ass, as well as kicking all other UG-albums' asses.


+1 to your first point. Could not agree more.

And I'm not sure if we write the plot first, or develop our character. If we write the plot first, we can tune the character to the events. Plus, if there are additional characters we can flesh them out as well. Or we can create the characters first. It's a tough decision, but I'll leave this up to someone else.

Definitely up for working on the details of the main character with you dude. I hope we can get more of us to collaborate on this aspect. Many hands make light work, eh. :p:

We could always use the UG chat function. Though I think I'm more fond of the way we're working now. It gives more time for people to get their thoughts down and well-thought out instead of a flurry of replies and ideas strewn about. I think it's easier to miss something posted in a chat setting rather than a thread.

If we start a new thread for the character building of our main character, and one for the plot writing we should be alright. Just keep the two exclusive to each other so things are clearer for all of us. Right now it's pretty hectic in here as we have discussions about all aspects of the project.

@EDIT: Exactly! We have the tools and the team, it's time to get busy!
[QUOTE u='ultimate-slash' d='2010-02-21 11:32:29']
 
This I feel is one of the most important aspects of the story, since pretty much the entire story is based on the main character, and not so much on the events. We really need to give this person a true identity as in name, appearance, personality, where he's from, what he did in real life, what his family was like and even stuff like his childhood, he really needs to be a person who has lived for 30/40/50 years (I don't know how old he will be) and has to have a life that explains his actions.
 

I agree with this, we need multiple plots, so any flaws that may have gone unnoticed in one plot, can be solved by incorporating elements from another plot. Though establishing the personalities for the characters has to be done first I think. Maybe it would be best if we get a few people to start on that? Just brainstorm about who the characters really are. If we have that, it will be a lot easier to write an actual plot. I'm willing to work on details for the main  character, is there anyone who wants to help?
 
It would be best maybe to use some form of chat to do these kinds of things, so you won't have to post in this group constantly. This way what gets posted in these groups looks a little bit more organised, and people won't miss things while reading. 
 
EDIT:

 

If we manage to put enough time and effort into this, we are gonna kick some serieus rock opera-ass, as well as kicking all other UG-albums' asses.
[/QUOTE]

+1 to your first point. Could not agree more.

And I'm not sure if we write the plot first, or develop our character. If we write the plot first, we can tune the character to the events. Plus, if there are additional characters we can flesh them out as well. Or we can create the characters first. It's a tough decision, but I'll leave this up to someone else.

Definitely up for working on the details of the main character with you dude. I hope we can get more of us to collaborate on this aspect. Many hands make light work, eh. :p:

We could always use the UG chat function. Though I think I'm more fond of the way we're working now. It gives more time for people to get their thoughts down and well-thought out instead of a flurry of replies and ideas strewn about. I think it's easier to miss something posted in a chat setting rather than a thread.

If we start a new thread for the character building of our main character, and one for the plot writing we should be alright. Just keep the two exclusive to each other so things are clearer for all of us. Right now it's pretty hectic in here as we have discussions about all aspects of the project.

@EDIT: Exactly! We have the tools and the team, it's time to get busy!
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 5:19 PM - Quote - Report!

ultimate-slash

soulflyV wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 12:19pm :

+1 to your first point. Could not agree more.

And I'm not sure if we write the plot first, or develop our character. If we write the plot first, we can tune the character to the events. Plus, if there are additional characters we can flesh them out as well. Or we can create the characters first. It's a tough decision, but I'll leave this up to someone else.


I have always found it easier to work from a fixed base, in this case the character, and let the story somewhat write itself, but that's all just personal preference. If more people think we should focus on the plot more at first, I wouldn't mind doing that. So I'll also leave that decision up to someone else I guess.

Definitely up for working on the details of the main character with you dude. I hope we can get more of us to collaborate on this aspect. Many hands make light work, eh. :p:


Yes, indeed!

We could always use the UG chat function. Though I think I'm more fond of the way we're working now. It gives more time for people to get their thoughts down instead of a barrage of sentences here and there. I think it's easier to miss something posted in a chat setting rather than a thread.


Yes, I see what you mean. What I said wasn't so much meant for the whole project, but more for individual aspects that need finetuning and such. It would become too unorganised if every little change for say the character would be posted here, because people might take on the wrong things when they miss a change that has been made. It was meant more to be able to post relatively definite decisions on aspects here, and leave all the sketching somewhat out of these groups.

If we start a new thread for the character building of our main character, and one for the plot writing we should be alright. Just keep the two exclusive to each other so things are clearer for all of us. Right now it's pretty hectic in here as we have discussions about all aspects of the project.


Good idea.


@EDIT: Exactly! We have the tools and the team, it's time to get busy!


Hell yes!:cheers:
[QUOTE u='soulflyV' d='2010-02-21 12:19:48']
+1 to your first point. Could not agree more.

And I'm not sure if we write the plot first, or develop our character. If we write the plot first, we can tune the character to the events. Plus, if there are additional characters we can flesh them out as well. Or we can create the characters first. It's a tough decision, but I'll leave this up to someone else.[/QUOTE]

I have always found it easier to work from a fixed base, in this case the character, and let the story somewhat write itself, but that's all just personal preference. If more people think we should focus on the plot more at first, I wouldn't mind doing that. So I'll also leave that decision up to someone else I guess.
 
[QUOTE]Definitely up for working on the details of the main character with you dude. I hope we can get more of us to collaborate on this aspect. Many hands make light work, eh. :p:
[/QUOTE]
 
Yes, indeed!

[QUOTE]We could always use the UG chat function. Though I think I'm more fond of the way we're working now. It gives more time for people to get their thoughts down instead of a barrage of sentences here and there. I think it's easier to miss something posted in a chat setting rather than a thread.
[/QUOTE]
 
Yes, I see what you mean. What I said wasn't so much meant for the whole project, but more for individual aspects that need finetuning and such. It would become too unorganised if every little change for say the character would be posted here, because people might take on the wrong things when they miss a change that has been made. It was meant more to be able to post relatively definite decisions on aspects here, and leave all the sketching somewhat out of these groups.

[QUOTE]If we start a new thread for the character building of our main character, and one for the plot writing we should be alright. Just keep the two exclusive to each other so things are clearer for all of us. Right now it's pretty hectic in here as we have discussions about all aspects of the project.
[/QUOTE]
 
Good idea.
 
[QUOTE]
@EDIT: Exactly! We have the tools and the team, it's time to get busy!
[/QUOTE]
 
Hell yes!:cheers:
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 5:33 PM - Quote - Report!

FrustratedRocka

Time to move. I'm going to see if I can close the brainstorming thread. Time to move. I'm going to see if I can close the brainstorming thread.
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 6:04 PM - Quote - Report!

classicrockboy

soulflyV wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 9:30am :
classicrockboy wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 8:56am :
Ok that makes more sense. :D Btw, I came up with song 10 in Act II. Music and lyrics.
Interesting. Care to share them?

I posted everything I had for it here :cheers:
[QUOTE u='soulflyV' d='2010-02-21 09:30:24'][QUOTE u='classicrockboy' d='2010-02-21 08:56:22']Ok that makes more sense. :D Btw, I came up with song 10 in Act II. Music and lyrics.[/QUOTE] Interesting. Care to share them?[/QUOTE]
I posted everything I had for it here :cheers:
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 6:25 PM - Quote - Report!

SlayingDragons

Okay, I didn't know if I was to post this into the plot development thread or character development thread, so I'll just post it here.

One thing: Does he have a kid/kids? This would add a little more to the story, add a little more tragic-feel to his death, and explain how his wife finds out what happens to him, because he could have his oldest son on the ship with him, or such.

It could also explain a little better why he's out there, maybe he's a crab fisher, and it's time for him to leave home to go crab fishing once again, and his son just joined his crew, to live up to the family expectations. (The main character's dad might have been a fisherman too.)

You know, just building off the idea of him falling into the arctic ocean, and him being out there to support his family, and him being an alcohol abuser.

And now to contribute to the story:

Perhaps he fell into the ocean during a storm, and is hit by a huge wave, knocking him overboard, and hits his head against the side of the boat. (To explain him going unconscious, and entering the dream world.)

He would wake up under a tree in what seems like an ancient village thinking he just fell asleep under a tree, and doesn't remember anything.

Annnd this is all I've come up with so far.

And I think you should leave the brainstorming thread open, because there are still a lot of ideas that could make this better.
Okay, I didn't know if I was to post this into the plot development thread or character development thread, so I'll just post it here. One thing: Does he have a kid/kids? This would add a little more to the story, add a little more tragic-feel to his death, and explain how his wife finds out what happens to him, because he could have his oldest son on the ship with him, or such. It could also explain a little better why he's out there, maybe he's a crab fisher, and it's time for him to leave home to go crab fishing once again, and his son just joined his crew, to live up to the family expectations. (The main character's dad might have been a fisherman too.) You know, just building off the idea of him falling into the arctic ocean, and him being out there to support his family, and him being an alcohol abuser. And now to contribute to the story: Perhaps he fell into the ocean during a storm, and is hit by a huge wave, knocking him overboard, and hits his head against the side of the boat. (To explain him going unconscious, and entering the dream world.) He would wake up under a tree in what seems like an ancient village thinking he just fell asleep under a tree, and doesn't remember anything. Annnd this is all I've come up with so far. And I think you should leave the brainstorming thread open, because there are still a lot of ideas that could make this better.
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 7:40 PM - Quote - Report!

Kensai

FrustratedRocka wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 1:04pm :
Time to move. I'm going to see if I can close the brainstorming thread.


Why?

Also I dont think the focus should lie so much the character's past.
[QUOTE u='FrustratedRocka' d='2010-02-21 13:04:42']Time to move. I'm going to see if I can close the brainstorming thread.[/QUOTE] Why? Also I dont think the focus should lie so much the character's past.
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 10:37 PM - Quote - Report!

speedy1330

Kensai wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 5:37pm :
FrustratedRocka wrote on Feb 21st, 2010 at 1:04pm :
Time to move. I'm going to see if I can close the brainstorming thread.
Why? Also I dont think the focus should lie so much the character's past.


agreed, maybe like the first song or so but the main story should be about the trip in the dreamland and getting back
[QUOTE u='Kensai' d='2010-02-21 17:37:50'][QUOTE u='FrustratedRocka' d='2010-02-21 13:04:42']Time to move. I'm going to see if I can close the brainstorming thread.[/QUOTE] Why? Also I dont think the focus should lie so much the character's past.[/QUOTE] agreed, maybe like the first song or so but the main story should be about the trip in the dreamland and getting back
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 10:46 PM - Quote - Report!

MetaIronForce

Fitting with the fishing boat idea, perhaps he drowned and was rescued just before he died, but he fell into a coma. In the dream, slightly borrowing someone elses idea, he is in his home town. But everythings a bit more psychedelic and there seems to be absolutely nothing wrong.
But soon, past figures come back in nightmareish forms, and torment him for the sins he commited against them, e.g. his wife who he accidently killed, maybe some friends who got money stolen off them so he could buy more drugs. Later, the most tormenting figure of all appears: Himself. A nightmare version of himself constantly attacks him, both verbally and physically. It also torments him with various things he thought were impossible, such as him opening a book and the nighmarehim comes out
Fitting with the fishing boat idea, perhaps he drowned and was rescued just before he died, but he fell into a coma. In the dream, slightly borrowing someone elses idea, he is in his home town. But everythings a bit more psychedelic and there seems to be absolutely nothing wrong. But soon, past figures come back in nightmareish forms, and torment him for the sins he commited against them, e.g. his wife who he accidently killed, maybe some friends who got money stolen off them so he could buy more drugs. Later, the most tormenting figure of all appears: Himself. A nightmare version of himself constantly attacks him, both verbally and physically. It also torments him with various things he thought were impossible, such as him opening a book and the nighmarehim comes out
Posted: Sep 13, 2010 8:08 PM - Quote - Report!

FrustratedRocka

The plot's already been decided... The plot's already been decided...
Posted: Sep 13, 2010 11:10 PM - Quote - Report!
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